Merry Christmas to Me

Last Christmas Eve, I received two emails. A response from "British guy" and a new email from "Beaver county guy". I haven't heard anything from "Picky guy" since he sent me an email saying that he was busy with family stuff and making the job decision and hasn't been online. He's been online - it says so in his Match.com profile. If he gets in touch that's cool, if not then I might have dodged a bullet (a/k/a another engineer.)

"Beaver county guy" actually wrote to me first on Christmas Eve. I had sent him an email a few weeks previously - I believe it was the same time that I came across "British guy's" profile. Apparently "Beaver county guy" had let his membership to Match.com expire but he signed up for another month to read my email after he saw my profile. That was flattering. I actually had emailed him instead of just winking at him initially because I really identified with a lot of the stuff he had in his profile. So I wrote him back on Christmas Eve and received a response on Saturday. I responded to that email last night and this morning there was an email from him in my inbox.

However, I have been talking to "British guy" longer and am really looking forward to meeting him in person. I waited until Friday to write back to him since I always wrote back so quickly. I figured it was best to wait a couple days. He did ask me for more pictures, which I couldn't attach and now they are added to my profile. Fortunately there were some good recent pictures of me that I was able to upload so hopefully he'll think they're good, too. I did forget to wish him a Happy Boxing Day, but maybe that's best. I don't want him thinking that I'm some giant Anglophile (which I am) who is more concerned with his accent than his personality (which I'm not.) We continued our talk about sports, holiday plans, people we have met in our offline worlds, and work. "British guy" did put it out there that maybe after the New Year is over and things aren't so crazy with short work weeks that maybe we should get together.

Is it Thursday yet?!?! Can it be after the New Year now? I would really like to meet this guy and see what happens. Also, too, because if things go well, I'll have to figure out what to do with "Beaver county guy" because I don't want to date two people at once. And if things don't go well, then I would like to still be talking to "Beaver county guy". I'm also trying to keep this as a first in first out operations process. Seeing as how I've been talking to "British guy" longer than "Beaver county guy", I think it's only fair to meet "British guy" first and see how that goes. However, "Beaver county guy" responds much faster and mentioned in his most recent email that he is better with his wit and sarcasm face to face, so I have a feeling that he would be more apt to schedule a time to meet before "British guy" does. I think my best bet is to meet "British guy" first, see what happens, and if "Beaver county guy" wants to get together, I will have to say that I'm really busy early in January and try to schedule something for later in the month.

So the process continues of the email discussions and me stalking my inbox, waiting to hear back from "British guy" and "Beaver county guy".

Continuing With My Online Communication

It's been a crazy week of writing emails or IMs and waiting...then repeat. Here are my updates:

"Picky guy" and I had a lovely IM conversation Tuesday night after I got back from the last girls' poker night of the year. In fact, I was up until 1am talking to him. And then he wasn't online the rest of the week. He finally wrote to me on Saturday, saying that he hadn't been online the rest of the week as he had been spending time with family and doing a lot of thinking in regard to making decisions about his career and potential job opportunities. "Picky guy" said that he would drop me a line when he had time. So I've been waiting since then. He was online Monday evening, but never sent me a message. I didn't want to IM him in case he was busy, so I am just waiting for him to get in touch with me.

I've also been emailing the "British guy". We've been having great email conversations talking about where he lived, his job, Bulgaria, sports, and a whole bunch of other things. It's definitely fascinating talking to someone who is from and lived in Europe. Of course, knowing me I'll get myself into trouble - foreigners are tricky! I did give him my number in the last email so we'll see if he calls. I said I wasn't opposed to continuing our email conversation if he was ready for the phone stage. However, I'm rather hoping that he calls. I would like to meet him and see if I'm really interested. And I would like to do that before the New Year, since I will have to renew my Match.com subscription towards the end of January.

I was trying to get the 6 months free since I'm still ridiculously single. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that I hadn't hit all of the email limits during a couple of months because I was only emailing people who wrote me or people that I was really interested in. I don't think it's cool to email someone that you're not interested in just to hit that limit. Oh well. At least I'm not going to waste anymore money on eHarmony. That site is a piece of shit. I met one guy who was short. That was it. Everyone else I saw on their were either not attractive, not interested in me, or not interesting period. Or they were from other states or countries! It is 100% a waste of money and I do not recommend it.

Moving On To New Prospects

In the attempts to keep my hopes up that there is someone that I will have a second date with, I have been very active on Match this weekend. That and my internet is working, allowing me to get online.

I wrote back to "Suburban guy" but I haven't heard anything since last Wednesday. He wrote back pretty quickly previously, but maybe that line where I said that I don't trust anyone who doesn't like football was a bit too much for him to handle. That's ok though. He's short and lives far away.

But I have gotten some responses this weekend. An email from the "British guy" I winked at last weekend, winks from "San Diego guy" and "Faux-hawk guy", and an instant message from "Picky guy" this evening that led to a 2 hour conversation over IM. "Picky guy" lives a bit far away and initially I was skeptical since he didn't have a picture on Match. I started talking to him on AIM and he sent over a picture. Very good looking - he looked a little bit like Leonardo DiCaprio in the one picture. I asked him why he wouldn't put a picture up, especially since he's attractive. His response was that he had a picture up in the past and got a lot of interest from people who weren't interested in him for the right reasons. He actually dated a girl for 2 years that he met on Match so that's a positive sign that he's looking for a relationship and not a quick hook up.

"Picky guy's" profile has a lot of details about what he's looking for in his profile and if I had been doing a search, I wouldn't have winked since he has no picture and all these requirements. For instance, he wants someone with their own place, minimal debt, neat freak, and his ideal match is someone who is a successful designer. I have a roommate, some credit card debt that I will probably be paying off for a long time, I can be lazy and not clean for days, and I'm in marketing. He also loves living way out in the suburbs (I don't even really consider it suburbs since he's almost all the way out in Natrona Heights, which is a very long drive) and doesn't like the city. I plan on being in the city until I have kids and I want to raise them somewhere where they have a big yard to play in and good schools. "Picky guy" also went to WVU and although my undergrad is CMU, my MBA and a bunch of my friends went to Pitt, so I follow the Pitt sports hardcore. So we are college sports rivals.

I definitely think it was cool that he contacted me and we had a good 2 hour conversation. It would be nice to meet someone where there is a possibility of dating. And he's 6'5", which is much better than the hordes of 5'7" or 5'8" tall guys on the online dating scene. The only downside will be if I end up liking him and it's not reciprocated. I have zero ability to protect my feelings when I like someone and I'm really tired of getting my hopes up and then getting hurt. It's starting to get annoying. We'll have to see what happens - I'm going to try to not get my hopes up too much.

And the Phone Never Rang

There was no second date with "Nuclear engineer guy" and there's not going to be. He hasn't called, I was a bit depressed about it, and now it's 13 days since the first date. I know it's a bit ridiculous to be depressed about someone I only met once, but in this crazy world of online dating, attractive, smart guys that I click with are few and far between. Many friends have vocalized their confusion regarding the lack of a phone call after what was a fantastic date where I ended up meeting his coworkers. Unfortunately, I don't have any answers to that question since "Nuclear engineer guy", despite being 32, also lied about being honest if he wasn't interested since there has been no word.

And of course he has been online within 3 days, probably picking out his next target to have a great date with and never call. Not to be a bitch about it, but I hope he meets up with a crazy girl (again) who annoys the shit out of him when he doesn't call. He does deserve that. And a Cowboys loss to the Steelers on Sunday. I should have known better than to trust a Cowboys fan - what was I thinking?

So again I get to start all over...meeting guys that I'm not interested in or attracted to. And attraction is necessary for me. If I am going to meet someone online, they have to be attractive if I'm going to want to see them again. If I have to meet men this way in my 30s, I want the whole package. And I'm sure most readers will agree that I deserve the whole package after over 4 1/2 years of crap.

So after taking a week off in the hope that "Nuclear engineer guy" would call, I gave up and got back on Match and eHarmony. There's really not much out there and apparently Match wants me to date someone who is 5'9". All of my daily matches for the past 2 days have been 5'9". Is it really out of line to ask for at least a 6'0" tall guy? Really!?!

What was even worse was coming home last night, checking the Match email that runs and algorithm that sends back potential matches, and seeing "Nuclear engineer guy" on it. That was just another one of those cruel little jokes that Match likes to play on me. "Here's one! Oh, wait, no. You already struck out with that one. So here's a completely unattractive guy for you!" Stupid technology.

Even though I feel pretty beaten down and I don't really want to go out on another date for awhile, I got back online. I responded to an email from a guy that I had written back to because I was waiting to meet "Nuclear engineer guy" and then waiting for him to call. I also started taking to another guy, but he's unfortunately 5'8" and lives way out in the suburbs. I am against the suburbs, especially as far out as "Suburban guy" is. I have to take 2 highways to even get to the exit. Maybe that's why I started talking to him, knowing that I probably won't ever meet him. I've also gone back to hating all happy couples on some level because I've been single for almost half of a decade with very few dates. That's a long time. I've been on more dates now so I guess I shouldn't complain. But I'm going to...obviously.

If anyone knows of a cute, single guy - feel free to pass him along. Online dating is just as shitty as offline, so I might as well suffer in both arenas.

Waiting on the Second Date

So after all of the excitement Saturday for "Nuclear engineer" guy to meet my friends, it didn't happen. When I called in the evening as the time approached for my friends Thanksgiving dinner party, the phone went straight to voicemail. I was a little disappointed because I really like "Nuclear engineer" guy but I wasn't mad about it. I'm sure something had to have happened for his phone not to be on and for him to not cancel plans. His phone was also still off when I tried calling Sunday evening, which is odd since we had talked about work and having to be accessible 24 hours a day. I did send him a message through Match.com to see if everything was ok since that's the only other way I know of to get a hold of him. But I am definitely keeping positive since he seemed really into me and there were many indicators throughout the evening for future dates - and dates plural and not just a second one.

I've come up with some theories for the disappearance of "Nuclear engineer" guy this weekend:

1. He was really sick all day after being drunk on Friday. I think he was probably drunker than he usually gets on weekends, so this is a definite possibility that he was sick the rest of the weekend.
2. He left his phone in his friend's car after his friend picked us up on the Southside. However, he didn't mention losing his cell phone when I drove him to his car Saturday afternoon. But he was really hungover so maybe he didn't realize it.
3. Something bad happened - maybe he got into an accident because he was so hungover. I'm really hoping this isn't the case.
4. He turned off his phone and doesn't plan on responding back to me because he's either embarrassed because he was drunk on Friday (which I would hope not because we've all been really drunk around someone we just met and liked before even though it wasn't planned) or I did or said something the next day that changed his mind. I would hope this isn't the case though because he really seemed to like me and be interested in dating me.

Also, following up concern: he thinks that I was mad about Saturday and will now not call me. I would also hope this isn't the case.

He and I spoke a number of times last Monday and on our date on Friday about being honest and not playing games, so I would think that he will respond back at some point. I would just like to hear from him soon and have it be something other than he changed his mind about dating me. I really enjoyed spending time with him and I would like to see him again. So I will stay positive for a few more days (if by this weekend I have not received any word from him, I will probably be upset) and think about what a wonderful time I had last Friday night.

6th Time is a Charm?

I met "Nuclear engineer" guy last night on the Southside for drinks. I was definitely nervous and excited since I really liked talking to him through email and on the phone. I was pleasantly surprised that he looked just like his pictures. He really is very attractive...and not too pretty for me like I originally posted. We hung out at the Lava Lounge drinking whiskey for awhile until I felt the need to switch to beer. I didn't want to get really drunk since I really liked him.

We almost sang karaoke - even though I always refuse, it sounded like fun. But by the time we sifted through the tons of shitty music available in the book, karaoke ended. The 80's night music started not long after so we were enjoying that. I was pretty sure he liked me since there was definitely flirting going on. There was definite real discussion about his work, my work, and how we felt about a number of topics - and we were totally on the same page about what we felt about a lot of things. Things like politics, dating, Pittsburgh, religion, the country, overall social issues. I also thought it was completely adorable when he looked at me at one point and said, "do you know if we have kids, they are going to be really smart." I agree with that statement and if it was a line, it totally worked! But from our first encounter, I don't think it was a line.

We stayed at the Lava Lounge until around 11 when we headed over to his coworker's apartment on the Southside to go to a party they were having. So he really is a nuclear engineer. I met the coworkers - they were all really nice. We stayed until 1am when I called a cab. However, cabs apparently were rare on the Southside last night since aside from the fact we were on the Southside, it was also Light Up Night downtown. Which is an excuse to get drunk in the city for many people. Seeing as how the last bus back to Oakland is around 1am I think, we were pretty much stuck. We waited around for about an hour waiting for the cab that never showed up. Luckily, his friend was able to come pick us up. We would have driven but "Nuclear engineer" guy was a bit drunk - maybe I made him nervous? He did apologize quite a few times, but I've been the drunk person in similar situations before so it wasn't a big deal.

So "Nuclear engineer" guy's car is still sitting on the Southside. Me being me, I offered to take him back down to get it this morning and then we're hanging out this evening. We had talked about going out later tonight if neither of us thought the other sucked, so that's the plan. A friend of mine is having a Thanksgiving dinner party and he's coming as my date. I'm really looking forward to him meeting my friends! Finally, a good date that will have a second good date!!

Getting Back to Online Dating

I had to take approximately a month hiatus from online dating. Between a couple crazy football and beer filled weekends and moving to my new place, I haven't had the time or the Internet in order to really search for my next date.

I was emailing this guy from eHarmony who works in the family business designing signs for a while - "Design guy". Of course the move hindered any steady communication. Also, he has terrible spelling and grammar, which is a HUGE turnoff. I understand some typos, but it was one giant block of text any way too many instances where the proper tense was not used. I'm sure my grammatically correct friends' heads would have exploded reading these emails. He seemed nice enough, but I appreciate the effort to at least separate paragraphs with a line if you can't use the Tab key (email programs through web browsers - you can't use the tab key. Hence writing as I do with block paragraphs.) I might respond to his last email though because he seems like a nice guy.

I also checked out some Match profiles when I had some internet time. There were two guys in particular that I winked at. "New Attorney guy" and "Nuclear Engineer guy". I liked both of their profiles so I winked at both and both started writing me. "New Attorney guy" responded much faster so we exchanged a few emails and then started texting early last week. We had a bit in common and the text exchanges seemed positive. I met him last week and he was fairly attractive and very nice. However, I don't quite feel the chemistry. I did kiss him at the end of the night, but then again, that's not necessarily a definite second date since I have kissed many boys just once in my past and I don't always have an attachment after once kiss (contrary to popular belief.)

I believe I mentioned "Nuclear Engineer guy" previously - in his pictures he looks like he could be way too pretty. But I definitely find his pictures attractive. Unfortunately, this has been a long process because he had a lot of on-site business trips so communication was sporadic. We exchanged 2 emails and then he asked for my number in the third email. Of course I gave it to him and we spoke on the phone last Monday. We were making plans and I mentioned that I was busy Saturday with a friend's early Thanksgiving dinner party and then my friend's bar that has fried turkey. "Nuclear Engineer guy" apparently loves fried turkey (he told me) and I told him about the annual Thanksgiving dinner at the bar. I told him I would invite him but we had discussed in our emails meeting on neutral ground and since my friends would be at the bar, it wouldn't be neutral. He asked if my friends were mean to which I responded, "Not at all. In fact they're really nice!"

So we made plans to meet this Friday night somewhere neutral for a couple drinks. He said, "Well, when me meet if you don't suck and I don't suck, then maybe we can hang out on Saturday night, too." I agreed to that, so hopefully we won't think the other sucks. I did ask him to tell me if he's not interested and that I would tell him the same. He seemed to like the fact that I'm all about being honest and not playing games. So I'm definitely excited to meet him and see what happens.

So for right now, I am hoping for good things with "Nuclear Engineer guy" and putting "New Attorney guy" on hold pending Friday's results. If things don't go well I will probably give "New Attorney guy" a second chance and see if it's just me being skittish since I've never actually had a second date from Match. I'm also going to keep writing "Design guy" and this other guy "SEM guy" that I've been emailing on Match, too.

This online dating thing is getting exhausting so let's hope Friday goes well and I hangout with "Nuclear Engineer guy" on Saturday, too.

Follow Up Regarding "CMU guy"

Actually, things are still good with his girlfriend (previously ex-girlfriend). It's good to hear though and we're going to keep in touch and be friends.

However, I really hope we're never Facebook friends since these notes import to my feed. Or I may just stop importing the notes if that happens. I doubt he would appreciate reading about himself as "CMU guy" and any initial feelings of anger and upsetness (yes, I am making that a word) that I had when he informed me that they got back together.

Here's a topic to discuss - social media: tasty treat or recipe for disaster?

Getting Back Together With an Ex = Bad Idea

Since I still don't have the internet, I used my lunch time to run a quick search on Match.com. I was going through pages of men and I came across "CMU guy" and he was active 2 weeks ago.

If you don't remember, "CMU guy" and I had a wonderful date and were going to have a second date until he got back together with his ex. So I totally wrote him a message on Match (I still have his number and maybe his personal email but I didn't want to put myself too much out there). I just said that I came across his profile, noticed he had been on a couple weeks ago, and said to drop a line if he would like to hang out again.

It would definitely be nice to hear from him - even if he's dating someone new I wouldn't mind being friends with him. Our date was a few months ago so I wouldn't be completely offended if it would just be friends.

This is why sex with the ex, as JN says, is a bad idea.

Online Dating Without the Internet?

Unfortunately I am out of commission in a way - I moved and there is no internet at home. Hopefully Saturday that will be corrected...I'll just need to figure out how to setup a network.

I stopped at my old place to finish up some things and grab the last of the big stuff, so I figured I would hop online and catch up with my messages while I had a chance. No responses yet. I emailed a one guy from eHarmony recently, but I am still waiting to hear back. I also received a wink and a message from a really cute guy on Match.com. Actually, I think this guy is too pretty - I might have an issue with that if I do end up meeting him and he really looks like his picture. But I of course wrote him back so now I'm waiting on that response, too. If I do hear back from him, I promise to come up with a better nickname for him than "Pretty guy", because that's just kinda of lame.

The only online dating aggravation that I encountered during my brief time on the internet was the "Who's Viewed Me" tab on the eHarmony page. This tab supposedly tells you who has looked at your profile and on what day for the past 2 weeks. I think this tab is broken. 2 days ago a guy named Guy looked at my profile - that could be true. But this tab is saying the 6 days ago, "Utah guy" looked at my profile. I highly doubt that "Utah guy" would look at my profile since we never went out a second time and he, in fact, canceled the plans to hang out a second time and never rescheduled. So I think I should email eHarmony to fix that tab because I would prefer an accurate record of who checked out my profile.

So I will post the update as soon as I have something to update...and when I have the internet...and after a long weekend of football. So hopefully sometime next week.

Creativity at its Finest

Every week Match.com sends me these emails with pictures (if available) and links to 12 guys that, based on their algorithm, match my profile. Every week I scan through the email, notice at least 2 guys that have been in previous emails, and never click on any of them.

Usually I find some of these guys absolutely hysterical. The info they provide is really nothing more than their picture, age, height, and a couple other blurbs about whether they want kids and the age range of the women they're looking for. It also provides their user name. It's really the user names that make me laugh.

Today's winning list:
idsmackthat
b4gunner1
2007NightTrain
Canyon173
crj_guy
trueblue_15
RSmith32
jay34300
joejoe78brick
bam3636
rebootrequired
TheLastPrince66

The ones from this list that made me laugh (almost outloud while at work) in order of hilarity with reasons why:
1. idsmackthat - yeah, you're really looking to date someone (said with the most sarcastic tone imaginable).
2. TheLastPrince66 - you're probably not attractive and trying to win someone over with your sparkling personality. But can the women get over your awful personal hygiene?
3. rebootrequired - i'm going to talk about computers and video games all day, every day and then ask you if you want to go to the next Star Trek convention.

Here is my most recent theory as to why Match.com has dried up in regard to dating leads lately:

It's the middle of regular season football. All of the cute fun guys are watching football all weekend and busy at work trying to get everything done for the week to watch football all weekend. Hence no time to meet women online and spend enough time emailing to get to the point where the woman is ready to meet them.

I really should have planned this online dating thing around football season. I should know better!

10 Days Later...

...the only update I can provide is the following:

Sunday 10/19 rolls around. I was working on getting rid of my hangover from hanging out with my Iowan friend all day Saturday watching football and reliving college. Well, the Iowan was reliving college and my 30-year-old liver dropped out around midnight. I texted "Utah guy" to see if he had an update regarding the status of hanging out Sunday night and he said that he still had a lot of work to do and "perhaps another time?" I replied that another time would be nice and that I totally understood that he had a lot of work to do.

So that was 8 days ago and no word. Unless he's on track to finish his PhD this week, I probably won't hear from him. Ever. Because I didn't receive any messages at all and if he was able to find time that first week to hang out for 4 hours, I'm sure that he could have found time to text me to make plans.

While I waited to see if I would receive a message from "Utah guy", I proceeded with other conversations. Match.com has not really provided any potential lately, even though I did receive a new email that I need to check out. Also I did make it through questions for a few more people on eHarmony. Last week I did start emailing "Graphics guy" a couple times. I have yet to respond to his last message since he wrote me Friday evening and I was busy this weekend with a friend of mine in town for Pitt's Homecoming game. I'm not sure about "Graphics guy" - I don't have that super excited feeling when I find out that he's sent a message since, obviously, I haven't found a minute to write back.

There's also "Teacher guy" who I replied to on eHarmony but no response. I'm also fine with that because I didn't find his picture all that particularly attractive. It was better than most, but again, not making me obsessively check my email. Also, I'm in the process of going through questions for 3 other people, which may bring some additional options, but I'm not too confident in them. One guy has not shown me a picture and that is usually a prerequisite for any interaction, but I figured I'd take a chance. I was a bit bored last week with the online dating since it started out at a standstill last Monday. Another one I feel might stall since I'm still waiting on a response. We'll see about the third.

So to sum up:
1. "Utah guy" - 99% sure it's a closed match.
2. I've hit the time of the year where I am a more preoccupied with football and friends on weekends as well as trying to move, so this online dating is taking a backseat since I'm not finding anyone that peaks my interest at this moment. I guess I'm probably going to have to wait around and see what happens.

Ambiguity

All evening Tuesday I waited for a text from "Utah guy". I was a bit anxious when I didn't hear anything back because last week he was always quick to respond.

Wednesday around 2:30 in the afternoon while I was reviewing a report, my phone buzzed with a new text. Thinking it was from the Iowan (a new friend of mine - not an online dating prospect) since he and I were going to hang out and watch the debate that night, I grabbed the phone and opened the message. It was from "Utah guy".

My original message: "Hey-i just wanted to say that i really enjoyed meeting you saturday night. Let me know if you would like to hangout again."

His response: "wow. Sorry for such a long delay in response:) i enjoyed meeting you as well."

The message didn't give me much to work with. There was a smiley face, but no answer as to getting together again. Also, I didn't understand the "wow" response.

So I consulted 2 female and 2 male sources in order to get a balanced opinion as to whether this was a positive or negative on a second "date". One of my male sources gave me a great plan of action - to wait until the next day and then write back, asking if he wanted to hang out this weekend. If he said "yes", then cool. If there was no response or he said "no" then I would have my answer.

My reply on Thursday: "I figured you were busy with work & school so you'd have time for football later this week (: do you want to hangout this weekend or do you already have plans?"

I actually started to write this blog when a new text message came in from "Utah guy":

"hey. I may be able to hang out on sunday evening- as always it kinda depends on how productive i can be the rest of the time"

So I am definitely calmer than I was on Tuesday night. I think I completely stress out one of my friends from our Tuesday Girly Poker Night Club who reads this blog. She told me I need to calm down.

AM - I'm better now! Sorry to cause any undue stress regarding my mental state/boy craziness! :)

But she definitely has a point - 4 1/2 years of being single and becoming the American version of Bridget Jones has made me a little anxious during this dating process. Hopefully I can keep my insanity in check and have a clear state of mind moving forward to keep my friends' sanity in check as well.

And if not, they might have to just take my phone away for periods of time and sedate me with alcohol. Also, I have been making lots of plans to hang out with friends to keep myself busy and under control. This weekend I'm looking forward to lots of football watching with the Iowan! And if I get to hang out with "Utah guy" Sunday night then cool and if not, I'll be having fun on my own. (:

Cross Your Fingers Please

So I sent the text message to say that I enjoyed meeting "Utah guy" Saturday night and asked him to let me know if he would like to hangout again.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't get one of the following responses:

1. no answer at all
2. a message that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend who just happens to live in Pittsburgh
3. an email saying that he closed the match on eHarmony
4. any message where he says he just not interested because I said something that annoyed him, that he's just not attracted to me, or any other reason to never hangout with me again

Essentially, I want him to write back that he had a good time, too, and wants to hang out again. So I'm going to have to keep my fingers crossed that I get a second date with "Utah guy" and he doesn't go by the wayside of the other men that I've met and never seen again.

"Utah guy" and the Trip to the Southside

"Utah guy" did call me on Thursday evening. We spoke on the phone for awhile - I felt bad because he had a really crappy Thursday at work. And I was on my way to meet the friends. Between the circumstances and the fact that I'm not good on the phone, I proposed that we meet in person. He said that he wasn't good on the phone either and thought that was a great idea.

I had that bit of nervousness since I really wanted to meet him over the weekend but didn't want to seem over eager. When I asked him when he said that, although he hated to admit it, his schedule was pretty open since he moved here not long ago. So I suggested Saturday evening and he said he'd be there. We spoke on the phone Friday because we were having a tough time deciding where to go since he's still not very familiar with the city. We decided on 8 at Z Lounge.

I got their first and staked out some seats. He showed up and looked exactly like his pictures - definitely a good sign. I thought that Z Lounge would be quiet. I guess you can't gauge the weekend by what a place is like on a Wednesday night because it was quite the opposite after the DJ showed up. We at least got to talk for about an hour and a half before it got too loud. And that hour and a half flew by. We decided to take a walk and see if we could find something quieter. So "Utah guy" and I headed down Carson towards the Birmingham Bridge. The Double Wide was pretty empty so we sat down outside to enjoy the beautiful weather.

At the Double Wide, I started to get a little nervous about the date. I mean, he could have left after Z Lounge but he didn't. Maybe it was just me feeling a little weird. There were some moments of awkward silence the whole night. But then, what do you expect meeting someone for the first time and being on a date-type-thing? I wasn't a fan of the outdoor lighting there though. I like dark places when I first meeting someone because I think I can relax a little more. He ended up with a headache that started at Z Lounge and was still lingering at the Double Wide. He was out for the Ohio State game at a party so I'm hoping it was a just a bit of a hangover. From our conversation, he seems to enjoy having party days watching football...which is what I did the whole day watching the Iowa and then the CMU game. We did a lot of football talk, political talk, some music and movie talk, and some talk about our jobs and his school.

We actually ended up hanging out for about an hour, hour and a half at the Double Wide before I mentioned that it had gotten pretty cold. He was practically shivering and I could barely feel my hands. Also, it was 11:45pm and we were both pretty exhausted.

This is where I get confused. So we started walking back towards Z Lounge since he was parked closer there and I was parked by 22nd. When we got to the corner for me to cross, we pretty much said goodbye. No "I had a great time" or "let's do this again". No kiss or even hug. So now I'm just confused.

I've decided that I am going to have to be a little brave and text him. Tomorrow. I'm thinking that maybe he was just being shy because he totally had an out after Z Lounge. And my only date where the guy didn't like me (the first one, "Squirrel Hill guy" but coincidentally has the same first name as "Utah guy") had one cup of coffee with me and then left. A grand total of an hour. Not almost 4 hours. And he hasn't "closed the match" on eHarmony. So they could be positive signs. And anyways, I figure that if he's not interested, he'll either be kind enough to let me know or never write or call back.

So I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a second date.

Thursday Man Update

"Utah guy":
We wrote back and forth a couple times. In his message he sent Tuesday night, he included his phone number. So instead of responding I just called him last night. Unfortunately he didn't answer so I left a message. I did get a text from him apologizing for missing my call and asking if he could call tonight. Definitely - yes. Call tonight. I'm really looking forward to talk to him. Let's hope he remembers to call!

"Hurricane guy":
He started texting me last night around 7. He was doing homework and wanted some stress relief. Of course, as how our text messages work, it started being a little more suggestive. He asked if I wanted to help so, knowing that he meant stress relief, I took the homework angle and said that unless the subject was marketing or websites, I wouldn't be useful. He then suggested practicing anatomy. That's where I had to write back that I was concerned that he was just looking to hook up and I was absolutely looking for more than that. "Hurricane guy" did say get a little defensive with his response that he never said that he was only looking for a hook up. I was glad to hear that and I told him just that. However, I haven't heard from him since. So I guess I'm going to have to see what happens. If he never bothers to text or call me again, my guess is that he really did just want to hook up...

It Finally Worked!!!

eHarmony has never been very successful for me. While I met 3 guys from Match.com, I hadn't even found a cute guy to respond back to me on eHarmony. That plus the fact that eHarmony kept matching me with men in Canada, Michigan, Ohio, Virginia...

Lately I have been keeping up with eHarmony just for the sole fact that I don't want to have to go through almost 200 people again. So on Sunday, I came across this one guy's profile. He was cute and had a professional job. He also was a big football fan and was a guy who liked to go out. I'm tired of profiles of guys that say that they hate going to bars and blah, blah, blah. Yes, going out for a couple drinks with friends...being social - very good!! I don't want a guy where we end up dating and all we do is sit in a room and stare at each other.

Since I need to give this guy a pseudonym, I will call him "Utah guy" since he had a picture with a caption that said "at home in Utah".

One of my other big gripes with eHarmony, other than the crappy matching algorithm, is the questions. I chose the "prefer guided communication", which means that someone sends some questions, you answer and send yours back, send back a list of things that you absolutely must have and things that you absolutely can't stand, then you exchange some open ended questions. The furthest I ever made it before deciding that the guy wasn't that interesting or cute was the "Must Haves/Can't Stands". But "Utah guy" seemed pretty cool as I hung out on Sunday watching football. He's a big football fan, too, who likes more than one team. And he does cheer for the Packers and the Steelers - so that is good! With my luck he'll be a Cowboys or Patriots fan...or even worse - a Browns fan!!!

Apparently after you get back the open ended questions, you get to start chatting through "email" on eHarmony. So far so good! I'm looking forward to my next message.

And if you're thinking - "What about 'Hurricane guy'?" I must admit that I have a feeling that all he really wants to do it hook up with me. I haven't even bothered to text him back since he was writing me on Saturday. I guess I should and I will eventually. I would just like to meet "Utah guy" first.

Killing Time in Another Time Zone

I had a client meeting in Denver today. So the team and I flew out last night, slept, went to the meeting, and now are sitting in the Denver airport. Since I've spent the better part of the past 48 hours with my team, I started texting friends to chat. So when my phone buzzed with a text message, I figured it was one of my friends writing back.

Turns out it was "Hurricane guy". He and I have been having a text conversation now for about 15-20 minutes. It's the most I've heard from him in weeks. He was telling me to sleep to kill time on the plan and to think of him. Of course, me being the bitch that I am from time to time, I just wrote back to the message where he mentioned welcoming me back properly and ended it with referencing the fact that he stopped writing the last time we tried to make plans.

My phone just buzzed with another message. I was expecting him to disappear again. Shocking! He said that we'll get together soon and I replied that I was glad to hear that since I thought that he was blowing me off recently. He said school just sucks, but I still think it's a bit fishy since he disappeared in the middle of the text conversation to setup another time to meet. That and the random "How's your day" message that I responded to earlier this week but never got a response back.

This should be interesting...I'll keep you posted if we actually do make plans to hang out. Or I'm sure if he keeps blowing me off I'll complain about that, too. However, I am still keeping my offline options open.

Quick Update: "Hurricane guy"

I just got a text from "Hurricane guy" asking me how my day was. The appropriate text would have been, "How have you been this past week?"

Go figure - I prepare myself to explore my offline opportunities and out of nowhere I hear from "Hurricane guy".

So I'm on the fence. I might just wait awhile to respond. Or write back, wait for him to respond, and then not answer for 5 days. And when I do finally resurface, send a generic text message like I haven't disappeared for awhile.

Thinking about this, he must have short term memory loss...or maybe he's reading this blog?

"Hurricane Guy" Lived Up to His Name

He showed up, stuck around for about 12 hours, then dissipated.

The watched phone never rang. It didn't even ding from a new text message from "Hurricane guy". There were no natural disasters that took place where he would have been deployed. Therefore, no date number 2.

I had some reservations about him anyways - the shady roommate situation, the racist comments he made towards the end of the date as he was driving me back to my car, the feeling that he wanted to hook up with me more than date me...all of these make it difficult for me to really care that there isn't a date number 2. I wanted to go on a second date because I wanted to get a chance to know him better, but seeing as how I don't necessarily think those were his intentions maybe it's a good thing.

Fortunately, my Match.com subscription is not done until January so I can go back to ignoring the 50-year-old guys and hoping to start talking to cute guys my age. Also, when it rains, it pours so I also have some possible offline prospects, one of which seems to be the most appealing of all right now.

Despite these options, the only other thing that I want to close this match out for good is a reason why he doesn't want to make plans. Especially after he started to make plans last Thursday. At least "CMU guy" was polite enough to give me a reason. It was a bit upsetting to me, but I definitely appreciated the honesty.

One Week and Counting...

One week ago I went on a really great date and was excited for date 2. I know that I need to have a little more patience at times, but when someone tells you that they can't wait to see you again, you would think that you would make plans to meet up.

"Hurricane guy" and I have been texting back and forth - Saturday night while I was at my friend's wedding, Sunday when I was having breakfast with friends who were in town for said wedding, Monday around 6pm when I was still at work, Thursday morning while I got my car inspected...that's a lot of texting, right? In all of those texts, there was no mention of another date. There was still a lot of talk of wanting to see each other again, but no "hey - what are you doing this weekend? Do you want to hangout?" Nothing.

So I decided to take matters into my own hands yesterday afternoon. I asked him if he wanted to make plans to get together. He was amenable and we got a few texts into making plans for "sometime soon" - just about the time for me to say that weekends were best and to ask if he worked every Saturday since I already had plans for Friday...and then the text messages stopped. Nothing since then. I sent one more last night asking him to call when he had time so we could setup the next date.

Now I'm waiting for the phone to ring. And we all know a watched phone never rings.

I've been trying to hypothesize as to what may be going on in order to prepare myself for the potential of no second date:

1. He is dating other people as well and found someone he liked better. This could be a definite possibility. Because the week or so while we were planning to meet up, he had not checked his Match.com account. However, he totally checked his Match.com account earlier this week. I know because I checked earlier this week and it said that he had been active within 24 hours - so Sunday night or Monday.

This could also mean that he thinks that I might be dating other people as well, but you know that I'm not. And I know that I'm not. But I still have yet to totally understand the thought processes of those with a Y chromosome so I would hope that he would think that I'm not. I'm looking to date one person, not a thousand people.

2. Something I said in one of my text messages changed his mind. I don't think this is the case because I said slightly more controversial things while we were out. But if my headache/hangover on Sunday because I had way too much fun and booze hanging out with my college friends at the wedding, then it would never work since I love my college friends and they've been around longer. They are part of my life and no one that I barely know will change my relationship with any of my friends. They either join in the fun or go home.

3. His grandfather is sick again. This can't be it - he would have told me since he told me last time.

4. Abducted by aliens (to use a friend's phrase) - this is when a guy just disappears. Stops calling or messaging. This is quite a frequent occurrence, at least in my and my friend's experiences. However, he does write back on occasion. He hasn't been on Match.com since Sunday night or Monday so the abduction could have taken place around 4pm yesterday.

Hopefully I'll have either a date or some results of my hypotheses above. I'm really hoping to have the date and not the reason that he stopped texting during our attempts to set a date.

Date 1: A Success So Far

I finally met "Hurricane guy"!

Friday we planned to meet at Station Square for drinks. I was doing the nervous/excited thing prior to the date. This was then replaced with some fear that maybe he didn't look like his picture - that maybe he had turned into a troll and I would have to figure out how to get out of the date. This fear was multiplied by "Hurricane guy's" request that we meet right outside of the bar and walk in together. He got there about 10 minutes after I did.

So I was waiting for him to park and walk over. Anytime there was a guy walking past by himself, I stared at him from my bench to see if it was "Hurricane guy". For most of the 7 minutes that I was sitting there, most people didn't look close. However, there was one guy who was walking towards the bar and looked a lot like "Hurricane guy's" picture except that he was bald. I started to panic because although I know it's shallow, I want a man with hair. I know I can't control it if he goes bald later, but I want hair now.

So the bald guy walks past and into the bar. When he didn't come back out and I didn't get a text or a call, I figured I had dodged a bullet. Which was confirmed a minute or so later when "Hurricane guy" walked up. He was very cute - lovely green eyes. And he has hair! We grabbed a table outside as it was too loud inside. We both had the Sam Adams Oktoberfest beer (quite a tasty beer by the way) and ordered an appetizer to split.

We talked about work, movies, football, school...I was a bit nervous at first but after about an hour I was able to relax and crack some jokes without feeling completely awkward. We had a few drinks and then decided to go up to Mount Washington to walk around. As "Hurricane guy" put it, "we had the drink thing, now let's do the romantic thing". We were holding hands before we even left the bar...

Mount Washington was beautiful. It was a perfect night - not too cold but not humid and it was pretty clear. We traveled to all of the overlooks and eventually settled on a bench to sit on for awhile. We tried to find a place that was secluded in order to make out, but we kept getting interrupted by pedestrians. While we were on the bench though, the Pirates game ended and the fireworks started to go off by the stadium. Talk about perfect timing! So after an hour on top of the mountain making out and watching fireworks, we jumped back on the incline to Station Square.

On the incline down, we tried to get one of the cars to ourselves. However, we were invaded by a couple and their two children. We got back to the bottom of Mt. Washington and headed back to our cars. This comes to the weird portion of the date.

The first part was fantastic, but the second part I'm not sure of. It will depend on how much information he gives up. So he has a roommate and it's a guy, but because of this roommate we wouldn't be able to go to his place. So I think he lives with his dad. And I know because I live with my mom and I say the same thing. So we were relegated to go and make out in his car. It felt like I was back in high school again. So we are going to have to find a way to fix this situation. Or at least if he admits that he lives with his parents I would be ok. Then again, I never gave up the info either. So I guess both "Hurricane guy" and I have our issues.

Regardless, I do want to see him again and see how things go. There are a couple other things that I am a bit concerned with, but I figured that I should definitely get to know him a little better. We've been texting since Friday night and he definitely wants to see me again so things seem to have worked out well. Let's just hope he doesn't get back together with an ex like "CMU guy".

And the Roller Coaster Continues

The date is back on. Either tonight or tomorrow for sure. I just spoke with "Hurricane guy" - it turns out that his grandfather went to the ER with chest pain and got a cardiac cath. I don't know exactly what that is but "Hurricane guy's" grandfather is doing ok now.

"Hurricane guy" felt really bad that he had to cancel. He apologized a couple times and that he totally understood if I didn't want to meet him after he cancelled, even though I told him that I understand that these things happen. That was a little over dramatic..."Hurricane guy" and I might be a very good match!

We chatted for a bit and I asked if he wanted to setup another time to meet. With lots of stuff going on, it's going to be a bit tight but honestly, who needs to sleep when there are cute, cool guys to meet? I mentioned that I could find some time tonight or tomorrow. "Hurricane guy" proposed that we set tomorrow for sure and then asked if he called later tonight if we could do something spontaneously. I was amenable to a last minute Thursday night meeting but just that I needed time to take a shower after working on the deviled eggs since I didn't want to show up smelling of egg. I didn't want to be that freaky looking, unibrow girl from the Planter's peanut commercial. I was impressed - he ran with the joke, saying that it was such a coincidence that egg/Miracle Whip is his favorite perfume. haha

So I guess it was a good thing that I boiled all of the eggs for the tailgate last night and have them setup. It took forever, but now I just need to make the filling, which shouldn't take too much time - allowing me to meet "Hurricane guy" before my fanstically fabulous weekend! :)

Online Dating: A Total Roller Coaster

Yesterday evening I got a call from "Hurricane guy". He was working and just wanted to talk for awhile. We chatted for about 20 minutes while I was leaving work and it was cool. He's definitely fun to talk to and laid back about things. After the call I was even more nervous and excited to meet him tonight.

So I finally hit the downside of the day and I was thinking that I might need to go home first to get a different outfit because it was warm outside and a cute sweater might make me sweaty with the temperature and I don't want to smell on my date.

I walk back over to my desk to see that I had a text. I figured it was from him since he texts me every once in awhile. Sadly, the message said "Hey there! I know you're going to be upset but I have to reschedule tonight. I'm dealing with a family emergency." I wrote back that I totally understood even though it sucks that I won't get to meet him tonight and that I hope things are ok.

So I guess I'm going to have to wait even longer. Up, down, up, down...yup. A roller coaster of emotions and I haven't even met "Hurricane guy" yet.

The Plans Are Set!

I've come to the conclusion that "Hurricane Guy" was just being polite answering my email the other day. He texted me as he was waiting to find out whether he was going to be deployed. Sadly, he didn't have any updates by the time I left work Friday evening, so I went out with coworkers for happy hour and then hung out with my friends the rest of the weekend. It totally worked out since a friend of mine was in town for the whole weekend so my whole group partied it up all weekend and watched a ton of football.

Today I decided to text to find out how his weekend was and if he was deployed. "Hurricane Guy" was deployed to San Antonio and just got back (I'm guessing last night or today.) Through text message we made plans to meet up this week. So Wednesday I will get to meet "Hurricane Guy" in person and see what he's like and what he looks like.

I'm definitely nervous again even though I know he really wants to meet me. He only told me that about 8 times through text message last Friday. I can't help it though. I have to figure out what I'm going to wear, which is difficult since I was going to wear what I wore the last time when I met "CMU guy" just in case it was a lucky outfit. However, looking at the weather this weekend, it might be too chilly for a skirt. And I'm meeting "Hurricane Guy" at Station Square, so a skirt might be dangerous since it can be windy down by the river. Don't feel like flashing "Hurricane Guy" and the rest of the Station Square Wednesday revelers. However, I need to find something cute that makes me look skinny, so this could take a few days.

Check for a recap on Thursday! Hopefully a positive recap if I can keep my nerves in check...

The Potential for Multiple Personalities?

Funny thing – I came home and checked my email and saw that I had an email from “Hurricane guy”. I thought that was a little odd since I spoke with him on the phone last night and I figured he would call. In fact, I was waiting for him to call to let me know if he was going to be deployed to Texas to help with relief efforts after Ike hits.

Essentially the email said that he was better in person, thanked me for the phone number, and that he would give me a call soon so we can plan to meet up. He and I already had that conversation. On the phone. Somewhere around 7pm last night. We're going to a bar in Station Square...

Also, every one of the 5 sentences ended with an exclamation point. It was weird.

So I'm thinking that one of 3 things is going on:
1. He was being polite and just answering my email despite the fact we spoke on the phone.
2. He is really excited to meet me (hence the !'s) so he couldn't resist the opportunity to communicate with me in some way.
3. He doesn't realize that the email he answered this afternoon was from the same women he spoke on the phone with last night.
4. I didn't actually talk to “Hurricane guy” - it was just his friend on the phone.
5. “Hurricane guy” has at least 2 personalities rolling around in his head...maybe more.

I'm really hoping that it's number 1 or 2. But I will be paying attention when we meet or he calls to find out if it's number 3 or 4.

Timing is Everything

After I got home last night I was thinking about calling "Hurricane guy". Then I heard them say on the news about Ike heading towards Texas so I figured I'd better act now before he's out of town for another few weeks.

Typically I would wait for a response after I email a guy, or at least wait a few days to give him an opportunity to read it. However, I justify calling last night by the fact that "Attorney guy" hasn't written or called in awhile. "Attorney guy" had called one day to try to plan a time to meet up and I got so busy that I forgot to call for 2 days. Then he was too busy. I got a couple more emails but I'm still waiting for a response.

Hence, I picked logged on to get "Hurricane guy's" phone number and left him a message. It was a great message - totally original and witty.

"Hi 'Hurricane guy'. This is [my name - I use my real name]from Match. I emailed you earlier but I decided that I should give you a call since I heard that Ike's bearing down on Texas and you would probably be heading out of town soon. Give me a call back at [insert number] and let me know if you want to meet."

The phone rang about 25 minutes later. "Hurricane guy" said that he thought that the voicemail was great and he's definitely looking forward to meeting me. We picked a place to meet, but unfortunately the day depends on the weather. Apparently he will find out by today if he has to head down to Texas to do more hurricane relief work with the military. So let's hope that Ike finds some cold water and dissipates since I want to meet this guy.

Some Positive Results

Lately I feel that my blogs have been rather negative as I have felt that the options that I thought I had available disappeared. Additionally, new options were not presenting themselves. While I still feel this is true to some measure, this morning's email check brought a wonderful surprise - an email from "Hurricane guy".

"Hurricane guy" was a guy I winked at in the set of 500 men I reviewed a month ago. He winked back, I emailed him, and then...nothing. I wasn't too disheartened since I was still recovering from having met "CMU guy" and all the fallout from that, as well as some fallout in the offline world. Reading his profile he seemed pretty laid back and not overly serious. This could be a bad thing, but after the month of August, I'm looking forward to some fun and going on a couple real dates.

The content of the email is how "Hurricane guy" got his name. He apparently took so long to respond because he was deployed to Louisiana for hurricane relief through the military. He's also does public safety work. So I guess he's actually a man...unlike many of the guys I've met in the sense that he's been in the line of danger. That kind of stuff. I'm rather interested to hear the stories.

At the end of the email, "Hurricane guy" gave me his number, saying that he was better in person or on the phone. However, I am terrible on the phone and better in person on through email. It looks like we're going to have to meet and I'm going to have to take the chance that it will turn out like "First guy". I handled the rejection very well, but I didn't have the fear of running out of men on Match.com at the time. I just need to relax and make the phone call. I've survived the past 3 weeks so I'm sure I'll make it through the next couple. If not, I'm sure I'll complain about it here. Stay tuned...

I Just Got E-Rejected

This was disappointing. I winked at a guy and instead of just never winking back, he sent me a rejection. In my opinion, this is rather inappropriate. I am totally cool with getting a rejection email if I email you, but this is the equivalent of the following situation:

You're at a bar, checking a guy out across the room, and he walks over and tells you to stop looking at him because he doesn't think you're pretty or you have bad breath that he can smell all the way across the room.

That's rather brazen. And then to make it worse, Match.com decides to include their own message. Match.com tells you not to be discouraged and to contact other people. They provide recommendations, thinking that it's helpful. However, they need to hire some better programmers because I already encountered 2 of the guys they recommended!! The guy on the right is a douche - I looked at his profile weeks ago. I'm not Italian so he's not interested. The guy in the middle I winked at about a week and a half ago. No response. At least he didn't sent that email!

So imagine the above situation occurring and then cheerleaders come running over telling you that you're still going to win the game despite the fact that all of your starters are out for the season.

Making Changes...or Corrections

So going through the 100+ people from out of state or out of country did not deter eHarmony from sending me more matches from out of state or out of country. I had another 7 matches in the past 36 hours from MI, VA, OH, and Canada. I guess that this proves that Pittsburgh is a shitty place to be single since I wasn't matching with anyone within the tri-county area.

In an attempt to start getting people in the Pittsburgh area as potential matches, I went into my profile and updated it. I changed some settings (such as how important is location? VERY!) and added information to my profile. Hopefully this will start getting me more people around here that I can screen by picture and height like I do with Match.com.

The only thing that got me today was a match in Butler (that was the only new match I received in PA.) It threw me off because the guy was cute, the right age, gainfully employed...so I answered his first questions. Then I looked at his profile again and he is 5'5". That's shorter than me. I adjusted the "how important is height" setting. Too bad I couldn't select a height range of height>5'8". I want to be able to wear heels on occasion when I haven't broken my toe cavorting around the city on a Saturday afternoon.

All in all though, I am being hopefully. I think I now have a profile that is more informative and funny. Maybe I'll get some good matches!

Location, Location, Location

I finally decided to clean up my eHarmony account. I pretty much stopped bothering with eHarmony when things were going well with Match.com. However, it appears as though Match has dried up so I want to ensure that I am taking advantage of all of my opportunities.

Since I haven't bothered with eHarmony, I have approximately 260 new matches. Additionally, the way eHarmony works, I need to go into almost all of these men's profiles to close the match so I can keep my account up to date.

Looking through these matches, there are very few from Pittsburgh. Most of my matches are in Ohio, Kentucky, Michigan, Maryland, and Canada. Of the 20 I've gone through so far, I believe around 4 of them were from Canada. Really? Canada? I selected within 30 miles of my zip code and that's the smallest area. I know that Canada is definitely way more than 30 miles from where I live.

And I absolutely refuse to commute to date someone. I don't have the energy to be driving across states and between countries to date someone. I will stay single if that is the case. I want to meet this dude who came up with this Flexible Matching concept. There is not flexibility with Flexible Matching. In fact, there is less flexibility as I would probably kill my car trying to meet and date someone from CANADA! Stupid Canada always finds a way to jump right on into American life even though they aren't relevant.

So for the next 2 hours until I go to bed, I will be removing matches from eHarmony. Hopefully I won't fall asleep trying to complete this task. Also, someone remind me next Sunday to not start such arduous tasks late on a Sunday night.

Men Have Issues, Even Through Email

I still receive unsolicited winks or messages from guys. Some weeks more so than others, but it's a fairly constant rate. I would say that of these guys, I only find 5% attractive and within my height/religion/other requirements.

Last night, I received an email from this guy in Ohio. Now, aside from the fact that he was unattractive, had children, was only separated and not divorced, lived in a trailer, and seemed to be a bit of a boozer, I politely responded to his message.

Wayne35luv (initial message):
"hi there"

My response:
"Hello

Thanks for writing me. Unfortunately, you live a bit out of my geographical range. Good luck in your search!"

His response received this morning, which is a standard "No Thanks" response Match provides:
"Thank you for writing me, but I have just met someone and want to see how it develops."

That threw me - he messaged me and I turned him down. From his profile, I assumed English was his first language. Apparently it's not. Because I don't know how he thought I was interested from my response.

Even online, some men still find the need to save face as a result of ANY sort of rejection, geographic or otherwise. Just don't respond - especially when I'm not interested!

Back to the Drawing Board

After getting dumped before even dating "CMU guy", a friend of mine said, "I give it 2 weeks, maybe 3, before you get a call." Even though that would be nice and I am holding out a modicum of hope that I will hear from "CMU guy" again, my past experience tells me that I need to continue on with my search.

I still have 2 guys that I have been talking to before "CMU guy" even appeared on the scene - "Attorney guy" and "Wrestling guy". However, I haven't heard back from my last emails that I sent them last Monday. From what I know of this online dating thing through Match, if I haven't met them yet, chances do not look good that I ever will. My only resolution that I know "Attorney guy" is super busy with a case and "Wrestling guy" doesn't check his messages every day. I haven't heard from "Writer guy" though. He and I shared some great emails, so I expect that he has found someone else.

In the attempt to increase my chances, I decided to run a search to find some new guys to wink at. There was also an outstanding message from a guy that I winked at previously that I answered. I noticed a link on the right hand side of a profile that said "Find more like him." Immediately I went to "CMU guy's" profile (which hasn't been checked in a week since our date) and clicked that link. To my dismay, there were only 9 guys like him. And of those 9, I only found 2 attractive from their pictures.

Since I spent all this money on online dating, I need to have a man that I'm attracted to. It's very important to me. I don't need Brad Pitt, but I do need to want to look at the guy I'm dating. Sadly, one of the guys like "CMU guy" seems really cool and nice, but he's bald. I have a lot of hair so it would definitely look weird if I dated a guy with absolutely no hair. That and if things would work out and we had children, I would die of worry that my child might end up with his hair genes instead of mine. Before you start thinking that I'm shallow - think about how often you have walked up to the most unattractive member of the opposite sex in a bar and offered to buy them a drink or ask them out. Chances are the answer is zero.

So I am back on the quest to find myself a cute, funny, smart, attractive man to date. I'm keeping my fingers crossed since I need all the luck I can get.

Profile Writing Advice

I received a comment from an anonymous reader asking for profile writing advice, which I would like to take the opportunity to provide to you all if you're ever going to try this online dating thing. Don't let my bad experiences scare you away!

Personally, I try to include a number of interests. For instance I have used football, friends, and movies. Then I provide some general detail about them if possible. It's hard to expound upon hanging out with friends, but you can put your favorite movie genres.

It's also best to be honest. When someone states that they like dive bars, I like that. Because so do I. However, I'm tired of just about every guy saying that he's just not into the bar scene anymore. Well, what part? Trying to meet someone there or in general you don't like drinking in public? Because if you are not going to have fun on a night out at a bar from time to time, you're not the guy for me.

Unfortunately, I have found most eHarmony profiles to be very generic with no real description of who someone really is or what they like. And I find profile information very necessary with eHarmony since all those questions are annoying and not very useful.

One of my favorite profiles that a guy wrote was very creative. He took advantage of the fact that he is a writer to come up with some funny, fictional reviews. I found that very entertaining and he definitely received a wink on Match.com from me.

My best advice would be to use the following guidelines:
1. Be honest about who you really are. If someone doesn't like it, good! You saved yourself a shitty date.

2. Provide information about your likes and dislikes so others can decide if they are like you or not. But don't add so much detail as to not have anything to talk about when someone messages you.

3. Take a look at a number of Match.com profiles for examples to see what's out there, and then differentiate yourself from the rest of the group. People get tired of seeing the same thing over and over. It seems disingenuous.

I think I might be cursed

I got home and was all excited to see an email from "CMU guy". However, I went from really excited to upset pretty quick. The waiting game is officially over so I don't have to wonder why he hasn't called:

"Hi Kristy,

Sorry I haven't been able to return your call from the other day.

I'm also sorry to say that a relationship with a prior girlfriend has re-started unexpectedly in the past few days, so I am not really looking to date anyone else currently.

I figured it's better to let you know why I haven't called so that you won't take it personally. Regardless, I did have a really great time on Monday and would have liked to see you again had circumstances not changed.

Sorry to disappoint.

All the best,

Rob"

I know that there are other guys that I've been talking to and it's just one guy. However, it's hard not to feel like I have some black cloud of bad luck hanging over my head. Especially when I'm 0-2. And #2 actually seemed to like me and I liked him. Worst is that I had to get an email instead of a phone call. I find that rather rude to meet someone, kiss them very nicely after your date in the middle of 14th street in the Southside, not return their call, and send an email to end things for an ex. Because as we all know, things with an ex never work. They're an ex for a reason. Should I take comfort in the fact that there were 3 "sorry's" in the email above? Eh - no. It's not like I even had a fair shot since, well, I'm cursed.

Sadly, despite my anger at life's little jokes, I can't even fathom a response to this email, aside from "maybe before you decide to kiss someone you should run it by your ex-girlfriends first". And I hate to not send one and come off bitchy. Either way I guess I'm going to look bitchy so I'm going to have to decide whether I want to confirm it or not. Right now what I want to do - confirm bitchy or pretend like I never received the email - changes every 20 seconds.

The Waiting Game

This is the part that I hate about dating. The waiting to see if you get a second date. Usually I have a pretty good idea whether someone that I meet is going to call. However, there have been times in the past where everything goes really well, but I never get a call.

That's my biggest fear right now. Monday went really well and now I have to wait. I know it's only been a few days, but I was hoping to get to see "CMU guy" this weekend. I did call and leave a message on Wednesday afternoon so I have used my "one free phone call" card. Therefore, I can't call anymore until a week from Sunday by my rules. I don't want to be the crazy girl who calls all the time after one date because no one seems to want to date that girl.

I'm trying to draw comfort that I made plans with friends to cover the weekend figuring that he probably won't be calling to make plans for tonight. Also, I'm pretty sure that he is interested and that he will call. My thinking is that he's out with the first year MBA students since he volunteered to help with orientation. Also, he's been gone all summer so there is always catching up with friends and getting your apartment in order for school to start.

However, on the flip side - I did meet him through Match.com so maybe he had some other dates and likes someone else more. Of course I have resorted to some minor "peace of mind" stalking. So I know that he hasn't been on Match.com since Monday. Of course, if he logs in and sees me "active within 24 hours" he might be wondering what it is that I'm up to. Hopefully he won't think that since I haven't written back to anyone other than "Rescue Me guy" to wish him good luck with his new girl. So it helps me to believe in the fact that he's busy with orientation, friends, and getting settled back into life in Pittsburgh. I have myself about 96% convinced of that scenario. Stupid 4%.

But this is the crazy girl thoughts that I knew were coming. I think I prepared myself for them this time. And I think that I'm coping with this waiting game pretty well since I am able to easily keep myself busy at work during the day and hanging out with friends and coworkers at night. If I only had a great ability to be patient and calm, this wouldn't be so bad. Sadly, guys don't seem to suffer through the same issues. Lucky bastards - they don't have this crazy period and they can pee standing up.

So if you see me out and about this weekend, I recommend buying me a drink. I may need it in order to keep myself under control thanks to that 4%. At least I have enough control to not call and won't have to place my cell phone in the care of friends this weekend to keep me from calling.

My First Missed Match

So "Rescue Me guy" and I had been trying to connect for about 3 weeks to at least talk on the phone. I was really happy that I didn't hear from him this past weekend since I was really interested in meeting "CMU guy". I consider this a missed match since we never really got a chance to talk or meet. There have been a couple voicemails and text messages, but no substantial conversation.

Yesterday I was hanging out with some friends when I received a text message from "Rescue Me guy". He apologize for not calling and told me that he started seeing someone. He wanted to let me know because he said that I seemed to be really nice and he didn't want to lead me on. I was so relieved! Because I was dreading telling him that after all these weeks of trying to talk on the phone that I had just met someone that I was really interested in. That was really nice of "Rescue Me guy" to be honest and eliminate some stress from my life. He seemed to be a pretty nice guy and that confirms to me that he is because he could have been like the first guy I met and just disappeared. We both wished each other well with our new people. It was definitely a positive experience. Contrary to popular belief among women - nice guys really do exist. I guess sometimes it's just that the timing is off.

The disappearing thing is just annoying. My one friend actually refers to the act of a guy who cuts off all communication as "abduction by aliens". It's definitely appropriate! Because they disappear, never to be seen again. IF you're lucky.

So, dating etiquette (online or off) is to always make sure to let people know that you are off the market.

Now, I must go make a call and send an email.

Meeting Face to Face - Take Two

If you've been following, you know that the first time (and only other time) I met someone from Match.com, it didn't go so well. I tried to make jokes; he was offended. So I started getting really nervous about meeting "CMU guy". I ran around Monday morning like a crazy woman trying to put together an outfit to wear that night after work. But it had to look like I worked all day and then met up with him. Very tricky. So I settled for wearing my favorite brown-ish skirt. However, during work I wore a black top and black heels but changed into my green shirt that matches my eyes and my flip-flops. I needed comfy shoes.

The official workday ended so I went to take a shower (we have a gym and 2 private showers at work, which is nice if you go out after a workout or if you have a date and you're stuck late at work). My hair had dried enough by 6:45 so I decided it was time to call "CMU guy" and let him know I was done working for the day. My hands were shaking when I went to make the call. Why do I have to be such a nervous wreck? "CMU guy" seems like a perfectly nice guy - what's my issue?

So he and I picked a dining establishment (it was actually first choice for both of us - a good thing as I tried to calm my nerves before the date) and planned to meet at 8. What was I going to do for an hour? So I stopped at my usual hangout. I will call it "Crowley's" (who gets the reference? I'm sure most of my readers know where I'm talking about. I'm not good speaking in code I guess.) I hang out for a quick drink to kill a half hour and then head to the restaurant.

"CMU guy" shows up about a minute after I get there. Just long enough for the hostess to ask me where we wanted to sit, but not soon enough for me to ask him patio or dining room. He shows up (bonus!) and we say "hi", and then mutually decide patio. The patio was full, so we sat at a table in the dining room. Thank god - air conditioning! I sweat when I'm nervous.

At first I felt a little awkward, but things settled in after we ordered. We talked about what he did before grad school, traveling, if he liked sports, football (he's not a big sports person but I'm a huge football fan so it's unavoidable), and cell phones. So yeah, we talked about a whole bunch of stuff. We also talked a little bit about music since he was in a band and when he suggested drinks afterward, I suggested a place in the Southside that I thought he would really like. "CMU guy" is into more hard rock. He likes a whole bunch of stuff, but that's his genre. Like mine is alternative music, or as Foote says, that high school shit. (:

I was a little nervous taking him to this place in the Southside. It's a bit of a dive. "Crowley's" is a dive, but compared to where we went, you would think you could eat off of the floor. We drank some New Castle and talked about music until the band started. Then listened to the first band and were trying to guess how old they were by what they looked like and the songs they played. One of the last songs totally made us laugh. The lead singer said "I dedicate this song to" and then proceeds to look around the audience. Then the singer says "the bartender I guess". So they break into this song. It was something like "I Want to Fuck You Tonight" or whatever. I burst out laughing and "CMU guy" was laughing just as hard. I turned to him and said something like "wow - that's fucking funny!" He responds, "Didn't you know? This is one of their classics." Awesome comment! I like "CMU guy's" sense of humor.

It was just about 11 so it was time to head home. Sadly, I wouldn't have minded staying for the second band. "CMU guy" said that he really liked that place and was definitely going to have to come back. He walked to me my car and we did the exchange of "I had a really great time" and "we should definitely get together again." I was hoping for a hug - I figured since this was our first meeting, that probably a hug would be an indicator that it went well, especially after I dragged him to this hole-in-the-wall, dirty dive bar. The end of the evening definitely surpassed my expectations.

I really hope to see "CMU guy" again soon. Now I just have to deal with my typical girl issues: over-analyzing and the over-active imagination. I'm being positive now. I'm sure I'll post my typical insane and ridiculous thoughts later this week as I wait for word from "CMU guy".

A Successful, and Stressful, Phone Call

"CMU guy" wrote back that he was back home, finishing up his summer break. He asked if he could call me on Sunday and if yes, what time would be best. When I received the message (and I think it's fair to say that I was "stalking" this email message), I wrote back with yes and a time to call. I was also supposed to receive a call from "Rescue Me Guy" that day as well, but "CMU guy" was top priority since he was someone I just started talking to and he hadn't missed a call. I'm sure I could make a comparison to Google's ad serving algorithm, but I will refrain from excessive nerdiness in this post.

Sunday evening rolled around and my phone rang - it was "CMU guy". I took a second breather to transition from apartment hunting and to calm the nerves and answered the phone. I think we had a pretty good introductory phone call. He was driving and I have to be impressed with his conversation skills while driving. I'm a good driver and multi-tasker, but I often zone out on a phone conversation while driving. Especially if it's a long trip on a highway.

The only downside for me came somewhere around 20 minutes into the call. I started to panic. I'm terrible on the phone when I don't really know someone very well. Hell, I am terrible on the phone when I do know someone well! In my panic, I asked him if he was "ok" driving and talking. When he said "yes", I still panicked with being on the phone. So I did what any intelligent person who was having a great conversation that she wanted to continue through a non-phone medium and said "hey - would you like to get together so we can meet in person?" Fortunately, he said "yes". So we planned to grab some dinner the next evening after I was done with work.

I lucked out on that phone call. I must have hid the panic in my voice well. (:

Occupational Hazards

The one thing that I found comes with this online dating is obsessive email checking. On Match.com, if I receive a wink or a message from someone, it notifies me in my email. When I'm waiting to hear back from someone, I will check my email upwards of 10 times a day. It's ridiculous.

This was definitely the case on Thursday. I was actually hanging out with a friend of mine and I actually commandeered his laptop in order to check my email to see if "CMU guy" wrote me back.

I came across "CMU guy" during that Saturday when I went through everyone between the ages of 25-30. "CMU guy" is getting his MBA at the Tepper School and he met my requirements when I checked out his profile. He's taller than me, and really attractive. He also seemed laid back and he liked music. "CMU guy" even played in bands, which I found pretty cool. Anyone can play guitar but actually making the commitment to play in a band is a huge plus. That and it means that he has to be a good musician. At least in my opinion...

So I was really excited when he responded to my wink with a wink and a message. I wrote back and then obsessively checked my email, hoping for a response. I can't tell you how many times I checked my email last week. Verizon's servers probably overheated...

Scheduling Burnout

One of the hardest things is taking that step to meet someone. You worry - "will he look completely different than his picture?", "what happens if we don't have anything to talk about?" or "what if I am not attracted to him?" You figure that the guy is probably thinking the same thing, too, but it doesn't help matters. Especially if when you meet, the fears come true for one party but not the other.

I think I have done a good job of pre-screening all applicants for the "date" position, but one can never be sure. Even if you meet someone in the offline world, pre-screening is not always effective. I met this guy about a year and a half ago who was cute and we had a lot to talk about. My friends and I call him "Hockey Guy". Turns out that he was an asshole and mentally unstable (he was even on medication). Bad combination. These fears are not unfounded.

Once you decide to take this step, meeting the other person should happen soon. The longer you wait, the more these fears circle around in your brain and mutate. It moves on to "I'm busy, too, but I can make time. What is going on that the man can't find an hour to sit down and meet?" Maybe it's my impatience and over-active imagination, but these are the things that I think about.

So I have been talking to "Attorney Guy". He seems pretty nice and even though he doesn't have the easiest picture to see online, he looks cute. "Attorney Guy" and I have been talking about meeting up. Last week, I forgot to call him early enough in the week to meet up on Wednesday. So we were going to try for this weekend but now, he's unavailable all weekend. It's a whole weekend. And he never said "I have plans with my friends" or "I'm heading out of town". In fact, just that this weekend doesn't work. "Attorney Guy" has always been open about what he's up to. Is it really just the case he's working on? Or is there something else? I just want to meet this guy and find out. And the longer this drags on, the more I start to worry that there's something going on. When he first left me a voicemail, his voice made me think that he wasn't 36 - that he was more like 46. I almost never wrote him back. I was afraid to call because I was skittish about the voice. And the voicemail was very long and detailed. I think he was actually talking to himself or thinking out loud for part of it.

There's also "Wrestling Guy" that I've been talking to. He's quite the opposite. I call him "Wrestling Guy" since the only picture where you can kinda see his face is a picture of him from a wrestling match. That or he's just wearing a funny outfit that looks similar to a college wrestling uniform. He and I have been emailing back and forth for a couple weeks. We talk about sports and joke about crazy funny things we do, like the letter I wrote to Comcast. (I only gave him funny snippets - I didn't clue him in to my absolutely crazy side where ripped Comcast a new one for taking MSNBC out of the channel lineup during the Olympics.) For all of our emailing, he has never mentioned meeting up or talking on the phone. Is he that shy? Or did he find this blog? Why hasn't he written me back in 3 days - I know he's been online because his profile says "active within 24 hours." This is turning me into a stalker.

This back and forth really gets exhausting. I just want to have my first meet up with a nice guy and actually have it go well. I already sent one running for the hills with my humor, so I want to see if there ever is a good meet up. And the longer that I wait for "Attorney Guy", the more I am nervous at the thought of meeting him. I need an Easy Button for this online dating stuff.

Advice for Newbies

Start with Match.com. Don't start with both eHarmony and Match. Pick one or the other and by one or the other, I mean Match. I thought eHarmony might be better - all that it is doing is filling up my inbox.

I receive about 4-8 emails during the hours of 8:30 to 5pm most days. And then an additional 2 or 3 throughout the rest of the evening. That and apparently I don't match up with many cute guys in Pittsburgh with real jobs.

The other issue is that it's a bit of a process because you are just signing up so you think it's best to be on the guided track when in reality, you probably want the fast track it. Because this guided track doesn't tell you shit about anyone other than their writing style. And while this can give you an idea of their intelligence or upbringing - you really don't get to know anything about anyone.

I get cute bartenders or not so cute guys with real jobs, or cute guys with real jobs in OH or WV. And I am not crossing state lines. That's just dangerous. The rules are different in red states.

So essentially, I spent $179.70 (compared to $101.94 for Match.com for 6 months with an additional 6 month guarantee) to have an algorithm match me up with the guys that I'm already meeting. In my opinion, Google could probably create a better algorithm to match with me a man. Maybe I should check it out and answer some of the requests for information. Or I can pretend that I don't exist a little while longer. And if I do respond to someone, I'll tell them I was in a terrible accident and just got out of the hospital or something. I still have my crutches. I bet I can get swindle a cute guy into a date with that story.

How I Spent my Saturday Afternoon

No one can say that I am not actively trying to find a boyfriend. I have just spent 4 hours looking through every single male between the ages of 25 and 35 on Match.com. 4 hours! Did you know that there's only 500 eligible men between the ages of 25 and 35 online on Match.com within 20 miles of Pittsburgh? That's it. That's all. 4 hours and I have gone through all of the men available to me.

Out of 500, only 165 of these men received a wink from me. That means that they were relatively cute and they met my height requirements (at the very least 5'8").

You might be tempted to say "Kristy, why only a 20 mile radius? Don't you think that's a little too small. That there would be more men if you make it like, 50 miles?" Well, let me tell you that I have encountered my fair share of men from Butler, Connellsville, Ohio...I'm not driving to Ohio for a date. That will never happen. The cute guy from Connellsville - I never texted him. It's too far. I'd never go. It would be rude of me to get some guy's hopes up when I know damn well that I am lazy and cheap. I'm not paying for gas to go all the way down to Connellsville. The guy had a kid, too. It would have been a precarious situation to begin with.

So now, instead of pre-ranking my fantasy football team, I have spent my entire afternoon checking out men on the internet. And out of the 165 winks that I sent out, only 1 response so far. So I'm apparently the only loser sitting on the computer all afternoon trying to get a date.

And now I am out of men. So if you know of any cute ones between the ages of 25-35, tell them to join Match.com because I'm out of men. What am I going to do next Saturday afternoon?

My First Time...

So I started getting the hang out of this searching thing. I did get an email from this guy, we'll call him "First guy", who I thought was a bit attractive in his pictures. We emailed a couple times and exchanged numbers while I was at the shore. He calls me the Monday after I'm back and we talked about just general stuff - football, tv, shows, friends...it was pretty nice. He asked if I would be interested in meeting in person, so I agreed. It was my first Match.com meet-up.

"First guy" actually turned out to be even more attractive than his online pictures. He was nice - bought me an iced cappuccino and we started talking. I found out about his job and chatted about his investments as well as just general talk about how long we have been on Match and people we've met. That was easy for me. "uhm, you're the first person I've actually met from Match.com".

I did enjoy talking to him, even though I was very nervous and did encounter moments of shyness. I hate when I have those moments - it tends to ruin things when I lose my ability to speak. Also, I did find out that it really is a fine line between cracking a facetious joke and someone being offended by said joke.

Sadly, I think "First guy" was offended. He seemed to have a lot of the same traits that I have - impatience, bad temper, a little obsessive compulsive...the only difference is that it felt like I was laughing things off (except once but I at least smiled while he hit my nerve!) while he was taking everything completely seriously. I actually had to use the phrase "lighten up" with him. When he first proposed meeting in person, he mentioned maybe going to get something to eat afterwards, and he added "if you like me". Well, apparently he definitely didn't feel the need to hang out later than an hour and 15 minutes. At 8:30 he was ready to head home and we went our separate ways.

I'm convinced that he either a.) was actually offended and is definitely not going to call me back or b.) thinks that I don't like him because I was cracking facetious jokes. It is doubtful that he will be calling me back anytime soon. I might try calling him once and leaving him a message just to say that it was nice to meet him and to apologize if my jokes offended him. I might just say it was nice to meet him and leave it at that. Who knows. Maybe I should stop being so polite all the time? Or maybe I just shouldn't get too comfortable with people and try to be funny. Apparently people don't like funny...

Moving on, during my meet-up with "First guy", the other guy who sounded interesting called me. He left a voicemail about possibly getting together tonight. After listening to it, I don't think he's really 36. He sounds 46 or 56. I might just meet him anyways to find out. Maybe he has a cold? I hope not because I was hoping for a better 2nd try at this meet-up thing. Sadly, I didn't get a chance to call him back until right after work tonight so I'm sure he was probably offended and felt like I was blowing him off. It really feels like guys are really lame and get offended at the simplest things.

Why is it that women are the brave ones? I always thought men were supposed to be brave, too. What happened to equality?

Week One Update

So I have been on Match.com and eHarmony.com for 1 week. There has definitely been a learning curve. I had to start searching guys and refining my criteria. Sadly, there are many people who are really cute, but a little outside of my driving range. If these guys want to come to Pittsburgh that's great, but I am not going to Connellsville for dinner. That's a bit too far with gas prices.

I've already noticed that some men are very laid back in regard to writing. Others want to get to know you right now. And there is no way to pre-qualify them. After the first couple of days I already had some emails.

Most of the emails I sent didn't end with a response back, so I started with the "wink". This is a great function I discovered that allows you to let someone know that you're interested without having to spend an hour trying to decide what to say in an opening email. I definitley enjoy the "wink".

However, I occasionally am feeling flirtatious and will "wink" a lot. I winked at a couple guys that upon revisiting their profiles, I found them not as cute as I did when I "winked" at them. This can be a dangerous option as then you have to either ignore them and feel bad since they "winked" back and are interesting, or you have to tell them that you're not interested through email (they email you sometimes). They do have standard "No Thanks" responses that you can send, but I feel it's rude to do that if you initiated the "wink".

I'm sure I'm really being way too sensitive about this, but this can be a very awkward and traumatic process. Especially when some 43-year-old guy puts his subject line as "Hey, you are hot!" I've also been winked at by 50+ year old hippies and creepy 40-somethings. I'm only 30 dude. Leave me alone. Or just send money, because that's probably the only way I'd date you because you're old. 20- and 30-somethings only please. Preferably employed ones. That's why I signed up - to meet men my age who are dateable.

It's Time to Add Another Online Activity to My List

Two weeks ago, I caved and did what everyone had been pushing me to do for about 6-8 months -join Match.com and start meeting guys. It's been over 4 years since I have had a boyfriend, which is way too long. And I'm really getting tired of being single. The last bachelorette party I attended - I was the only single woman out of the 10 of us. It didn't make me feel all that great.

I signed up on Match.com and eHarmony.com. I had better go on quite a few dates to make up for the hundreds of dollars I put on my credit card. To-date, I am not feeling all that comfortable about it so far. Maybe I should have taken a hint from when I almost cried while creating my profiles. I just never expected that I'd have to look for love online. It was a novelty when I was 17 and I wanted to meet people that I didn't go to high school with. Now, however, it makes me feel pretty crappy.