I spent a good portion of the weekend talking to "Med student guy" - online, on the phone...just not in person yet. He went back to the hospital Saturday afternoon and it turns out that he had an infection where they gave him the injection of cortisone. According to a scientist friend of mine, this is fairly common. The hospital gave "Med student guy" antibiotics and his knee has been doing much better. He said that his knee isn't red anymore and the swelling has started going down. Today will be a good test since he was planning on going to class today. Fortunately, he only missed Friday classes so he won't be too far behind.
Talking to him last night, he is just as excited to meet me in person as I am to meet him. The anticipation increased even more last night as a second date has already been planned for the Pitt/WVU basketball game in 2 weeks. "Med student guy" said that he was going to get tickets and asked if I would like to go with him. Without any hesitation I answered, "yes!" This is really a big risk since what if we meet and he doesn't look like his picture or we don't click in person like we do now. I have a pretty good feeling that it will work out fine, but it really is a big risk to plan a second date before we've even had the first.
At least he and I agree on college sports. New revelations from weekend conversation:
1. I'm a Flyers fan; he's a Pens fan
2. He is a Cowboys fan, but not a Steelers fan. In fact, according to "Med student guy", the Steelers are his 31st favorite team.
The first one I can handle, the second one is going to be tough! How can he have grown up in Pittsburgh and not even have the Steelers in his top 3 teams??? I was devastated when he said he was going to root for the Cardinals. I was considering asking him to come to watch the Super Bowl with me, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to deal with his un-fandom. That and it makes me nervous as the last Cowboys fan that I met ended up never calling me again. And I said I would learn from that experience that Cowboys fans are no good. And what are we going to do for 6 months out of the year when I'm watching football and cheering for the Steelers. It will be very complicated. I'm sure a compromise may be reached, except that the Eagles are my third favorite team and they're in the same division as the Cowboys.
At this point though, I need to just finally meet "Med student guy". I'm hoping I'll have a better idea of when we'll get to meet tonight after he sees how the day at school goes.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
The Downside of Any Online Dating Site
Sometimes you come across people that unexpectedly find you online outside of the dating site. For instance, I made the mistake of having my Match.com username as the first initial of my first name and my last name. Which is rather dumb since I have a very unique last name. So it's fairly easy to Google me or find me on MySpace or Facebook.
Me being the giant brain I am had a great thought when signing up for Plentyoffish.com (POF). I thought, "I know! I'll pick a username that doesn't include my last name." Unfortunately, I stopped thinking after that and used the same username as I have for my AOL Instant Messenger. Yeah, great idea.
I was talking to "Med student guy" two Fridays ago on IM and a message popped up on AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) from this guy who had put me on his favorites list on POF. Being polite I answered the message from this guy that I will refer to as "Way too young guy". He first asked if I was the same person from POF with the username. I made the mistake of answering "yes" to that question.
He then proceeds to ask me how strict I was on my age restrictions (on POF you can post the age range of men that you're looking for.) I told him I was pretty strict and then asked how old he was. He responded with "18 but I'll be 19 in two months." That immediately put me into shock and somewhat offended me at the same time. If you hadn't guessed by reading this blog, I'm 30. I'm almost twice as old as "Way too young guy"! The conversation continued to me telling him that he was definitely too young for me and him saying that he's always dated older women because they are usually hotter, sweeter, and much more mature than the girls his age. No shit we're more mature - we're adults! We're not teenagers anymore!
I insisted that he keeps looking for girls his age because there are girls that are mature and just as beautiful as those of us who are almost twice his age. Unfortunately, I think he's trying to wear me down because he keeps sending me IM's saying "hi" and trying to start conversation. Poor kid doesn't realize how stubborn I am. And he doesn't realize how gross it is that he's still a teenager and trying to hook up with women who are out of college. "Way too young guy" doesn't even go to college - this is probably why he's not meeting mature women. He's probably still has friends in high school!
So important lessons learned:
1. Stay very strict with those age limits. They're there for a reason.
2. Always respect people age restrictions. So if you're 50 and I'm 30, looking for someone between the ages of 27 and 35, don't message me.
3. Never use a username that you have on an instant message application.
4. Never use a username that allows people to Google you or track you down through social media sites.
5. If you do accidentally have a username that allows people to find you, always tell them that you're not the person from the online dating site and pretend to be offended (or if you are offended, no need to pretend - just act as such) that they would think that. Especially since you're engaged. Sometimes you just have to lie.
Me being the giant brain I am had a great thought when signing up for Plentyoffish.com (POF). I thought, "I know! I'll pick a username that doesn't include my last name." Unfortunately, I stopped thinking after that and used the same username as I have for my AOL Instant Messenger. Yeah, great idea.
I was talking to "Med student guy" two Fridays ago on IM and a message popped up on AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) from this guy who had put me on his favorites list on POF. Being polite I answered the message from this guy that I will refer to as "Way too young guy". He first asked if I was the same person from POF with the username. I made the mistake of answering "yes" to that question.
He then proceeds to ask me how strict I was on my age restrictions (on POF you can post the age range of men that you're looking for.) I told him I was pretty strict and then asked how old he was. He responded with "18 but I'll be 19 in two months." That immediately put me into shock and somewhat offended me at the same time. If you hadn't guessed by reading this blog, I'm 30. I'm almost twice as old as "Way too young guy"! The conversation continued to me telling him that he was definitely too young for me and him saying that he's always dated older women because they are usually hotter, sweeter, and much more mature than the girls his age. No shit we're more mature - we're adults! We're not teenagers anymore!
I insisted that he keeps looking for girls his age because there are girls that are mature and just as beautiful as those of us who are almost twice his age. Unfortunately, I think he's trying to wear me down because he keeps sending me IM's saying "hi" and trying to start conversation. Poor kid doesn't realize how stubborn I am. And he doesn't realize how gross it is that he's still a teenager and trying to hook up with women who are out of college. "Way too young guy" doesn't even go to college - this is probably why he's not meeting mature women. He's probably still has friends in high school!
So important lessons learned:
1. Stay very strict with those age limits. They're there for a reason.
2. Always respect people age restrictions. So if you're 50 and I'm 30, looking for someone between the ages of 27 and 35, don't message me.
3. Never use a username that you have on an instant message application.
4. Never use a username that allows people to Google you or track you down through social media sites.
5. If you do accidentally have a username that allows people to find you, always tell them that you're not the person from the online dating site and pretend to be offended (or if you are offended, no need to pretend - just act as such) that they would think that. Especially since you're engaged. Sometimes you just have to lie.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
My Bad Luck Continues
When "Med student guy" called me Thursday night, I asked how his basketball game went. The answer was not good. While his team won, he left just before the half when he came down with a rebound and hurt his knee. He was hoping for just a sprain as the initial x-rays from Thursday night showed no pieces of the bone had broken off. However, after his MRI yesterday, it turns out that he tore his ACL. So he's been on crutches with a leg immobilizer since going to the ER.
My first thought when he said that he may have torn his ACL was that we weren't going to get to meet Friday. However, he insisted that he would be able to make it, even if it was only for an hour or two. "Med student guy" even insisted that we go to the initial venue that we agreed upon, despite the fact that he would have to go down a flight of stairs that aren't the easiest to navigate when you're not injured.
So I got home last night, took a shower, and started getting ready. I was just getting ready to head out to have a drink with my friends before meeting him when he called. "Med student guy" felt really bad and must have apologized ten times about canceling. His knee was so swollen that he wasn't able to bend it at all, let alone get the leg immobilizer on. However, he did admit that he was going to show up without the crutches and the brace - men and their egos! He admitted that he was stubborn, an important first step in getting him to at least use one or the other when we reschedule.
Apparently the shot of cortisone that they gave him after the MRI yesterday morning made his knee worse. He had told me that when he tore his shoulder years ago, they had given him a shot of cortisone then, too, and it made his shoulder worse as well (it's funny - he actually told me about that last Monday before he blew out his knee.) When they gave it to him with his shoulder, he thought that the doctor messed up the shot since it was his primary care physician and not an orthopedic specialist. However, I think that he has some sort of allergic reaction to cortisone, which sucks since he's going to have lots of pain after surgery and rehab.
I was definitely upset that I wasn't going to meet him last night since I'm obsessed with talking to him and I want to see if we click as well in person as we do over IM/phone. Hopefully the swelling will go down soon and we'll get to meet since he's made it clear that it will take a lot for him not to come out and meet me. As evidenced by last night, being unable to move is pretty much the only thing that will stop him. However, I do find it funny that I'm not the only one with bad luck - he has it, too! At least this time my bad luck isn't as bad...it's just delaying me from meeting "Med student guy". I think we'll meet as soon as that swelling goes down. At least it's cold outside again - maybe that will help alleviate the swelling some more.
As for "Law student guy", I was talking to him yesterday as well. However, I was rather annoyed at his pretentiousness. It's so annoying that I don't even really want to add it to this post because I don't want to have to re-read the conversation. Essentially the gist of our discussion yesterday ended with him smoking 3 $30 cigars a year - one of New Years, one of the 4th of July, and one TBD. He also drinks super-premium gin, according to the online research I've done as well as his description as the "good gin". Apparently I drink crappy gin since Bombay Sapphire is so "terrible".
I don't know - I think I would still like my gin more than Tanqueray No. 10 even if I tried it. Just on general principle at this point. And of course, all beer is crappy according to him. If he does drink beer, he apparently drinks Rolling Rock. I used to love Rolling Rock...back before I knew much at all about beer. I like Rolling Rock because it was from close to Pittsburgh and it had a green logo. Seriously - I like the green logo, green cans, and green bottles.
After being barraged with comments aimed to make me feel like I don't know anything about high end drinks, I was trying to figure out what it was about my profile that he actually liked. He doesn't like the sports that I do, this whole "high end drinking/expensive cigar smoking" lifestyle, he doesn't really know or like any of the music I listen to since it's not jazz or techno...it should have been obviously clear in my profile that I am not a snobby, pretentious person - why would I want to date a snobby and pretentious person? It was rather disappointing after that conversation and I'm not looking forward to talking to him at all. Why couldn't "Law student guy" have torn his ACL instead of "Med student guy"? Oh wait - my bad luck!
My first thought when he said that he may have torn his ACL was that we weren't going to get to meet Friday. However, he insisted that he would be able to make it, even if it was only for an hour or two. "Med student guy" even insisted that we go to the initial venue that we agreed upon, despite the fact that he would have to go down a flight of stairs that aren't the easiest to navigate when you're not injured.
So I got home last night, took a shower, and started getting ready. I was just getting ready to head out to have a drink with my friends before meeting him when he called. "Med student guy" felt really bad and must have apologized ten times about canceling. His knee was so swollen that he wasn't able to bend it at all, let alone get the leg immobilizer on. However, he did admit that he was going to show up without the crutches and the brace - men and their egos! He admitted that he was stubborn, an important first step in getting him to at least use one or the other when we reschedule.
Apparently the shot of cortisone that they gave him after the MRI yesterday morning made his knee worse. He had told me that when he tore his shoulder years ago, they had given him a shot of cortisone then, too, and it made his shoulder worse as well (it's funny - he actually told me about that last Monday before he blew out his knee.) When they gave it to him with his shoulder, he thought that the doctor messed up the shot since it was his primary care physician and not an orthopedic specialist. However, I think that he has some sort of allergic reaction to cortisone, which sucks since he's going to have lots of pain after surgery and rehab.
I was definitely upset that I wasn't going to meet him last night since I'm obsessed with talking to him and I want to see if we click as well in person as we do over IM/phone. Hopefully the swelling will go down soon and we'll get to meet since he's made it clear that it will take a lot for him not to come out and meet me. As evidenced by last night, being unable to move is pretty much the only thing that will stop him. However, I do find it funny that I'm not the only one with bad luck - he has it, too! At least this time my bad luck isn't as bad...it's just delaying me from meeting "Med student guy". I think we'll meet as soon as that swelling goes down. At least it's cold outside again - maybe that will help alleviate the swelling some more.
As for "Law student guy", I was talking to him yesterday as well. However, I was rather annoyed at his pretentiousness. It's so annoying that I don't even really want to add it to this post because I don't want to have to re-read the conversation. Essentially the gist of our discussion yesterday ended with him smoking 3 $30 cigars a year - one of New Years, one of the 4th of July, and one TBD. He also drinks super-premium gin, according to the online research I've done as well as his description as the "good gin". Apparently I drink crappy gin since Bombay Sapphire is so "terrible".
I don't know - I think I would still like my gin more than Tanqueray No. 10 even if I tried it. Just on general principle at this point. And of course, all beer is crappy according to him. If he does drink beer, he apparently drinks Rolling Rock. I used to love Rolling Rock...back before I knew much at all about beer. I like Rolling Rock because it was from close to Pittsburgh and it had a green logo. Seriously - I like the green logo, green cans, and green bottles.
After being barraged with comments aimed to make me feel like I don't know anything about high end drinks, I was trying to figure out what it was about my profile that he actually liked. He doesn't like the sports that I do, this whole "high end drinking/expensive cigar smoking" lifestyle, he doesn't really know or like any of the music I listen to since it's not jazz or techno...it should have been obviously clear in my profile that I am not a snobby, pretentious person - why would I want to date a snobby and pretentious person? It was rather disappointing after that conversation and I'm not looking forward to talking to him at all. Why couldn't "Law student guy" have torn his ACL instead of "Med student guy"? Oh wait - my bad luck!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Friday Night - Date Night
I have been talking to both "Med student guy" and "Law student guy" all week. "Law student guy" continues to be sporadic and cryptic. For as long as we've been exchanging IMs, I know very little about him. He also is still working on getting that car fixed as much as I know, so who knows if I will ever meet him.
On the other hand, I know a lot about "Med student guy" and he actually provides me with details about his life. I know where he grew up and he told me about his family, even the tough things. We also talk about our friends, sports, the fact that he only sleeps 4 hours a night, what we do when we're hanging out with our friends, that in addition to work and class he volunteers at a burn unit at one of the local hospitals, and experiences that we've had - both that day or in the past.
I've become rather obsessed with talking to him. I actually took my lunch a little early today in order to post this blog because I usually email him on my lunch hour. If I start talking to him over email, I won't be able to stop. I spent 2 hours on the phone with him last night from 11:15pm to 1:15am until I realized what time it was. During our Tuesday evening conversation, I decided that I absolutely had to meet him. So we made plans to meet on Friday. After talking to him, I decided that I was ok with him knowing one of my lesser hangouts so we're meeting there. If things go well, he might even get to go to my normal hangout. The potential is good that he looks like his pictures since he said that they were from his vacation last summer.
I just hope that my bad luck doesn't rear it's ugly head tomorrow. That's my biggest fear - after all of our conversations and the uncountable number of times that he has said how much he really "digs" me, that the ever elusive second date will remain elusive. While he has been very vocal about how awesome and beautiful he thinks I am, I have definitely held back. I, of course, told him how much I enjoy talking to him and which of his pictures on POF (Plentyoffish.com) I like the best. I even told him I was counting down to tomorrow night and he responded that he was as well He the told me how was time remained.
However, I feel that I'm trying to be as guarded as I can right now since I haven't had any success in previous months. I don't to fall into the trap of being upset if we meet and then he doesn't call me back. "Med student guy" seems so nice and down to earth, as well as being sensitive and strong at the same time. If he turns out to be really cute, then he could be the perfect man. And if so, I'm going to be really upset if it turns out to be only another first date. I think I would be more comfortable if he had a flaw or something that I was concerned about. Unfortunately, the closest I can get is his accent (it's almost this bizarre combination of yinzer, urban, and southern - maybe it's just him growing up in the Hill District through middle school) but I kind of like the accent and I would always be able to recognize him on the phone without caller ID.
Let's hope all goes well! I am tired of writing about talking to all of these different guys and going on first dates, and then repeating the process. I'm really in the mood to expand my writing past this vicious circle of meeting people and move on to the next steps. So come 9pm tomorrow, keep your fingers crossed for me that everything goes well!
On the other hand, I know a lot about "Med student guy" and he actually provides me with details about his life. I know where he grew up and he told me about his family, even the tough things. We also talk about our friends, sports, the fact that he only sleeps 4 hours a night, what we do when we're hanging out with our friends, that in addition to work and class he volunteers at a burn unit at one of the local hospitals, and experiences that we've had - both that day or in the past.
I've become rather obsessed with talking to him. I actually took my lunch a little early today in order to post this blog because I usually email him on my lunch hour. If I start talking to him over email, I won't be able to stop. I spent 2 hours on the phone with him last night from 11:15pm to 1:15am until I realized what time it was. During our Tuesday evening conversation, I decided that I absolutely had to meet him. So we made plans to meet on Friday. After talking to him, I decided that I was ok with him knowing one of my lesser hangouts so we're meeting there. If things go well, he might even get to go to my normal hangout. The potential is good that he looks like his pictures since he said that they were from his vacation last summer.
I just hope that my bad luck doesn't rear it's ugly head tomorrow. That's my biggest fear - after all of our conversations and the uncountable number of times that he has said how much he really "digs" me, that the ever elusive second date will remain elusive. While he has been very vocal about how awesome and beautiful he thinks I am, I have definitely held back. I, of course, told him how much I enjoy talking to him and which of his pictures on POF (Plentyoffish.com) I like the best. I even told him I was counting down to tomorrow night and he responded that he was as well He the told me how was time remained.
However, I feel that I'm trying to be as guarded as I can right now since I haven't had any success in previous months. I don't to fall into the trap of being upset if we meet and then he doesn't call me back. "Med student guy" seems so nice and down to earth, as well as being sensitive and strong at the same time. If he turns out to be really cute, then he could be the perfect man. And if so, I'm going to be really upset if it turns out to be only another first date. I think I would be more comfortable if he had a flaw or something that I was concerned about. Unfortunately, the closest I can get is his accent (it's almost this bizarre combination of yinzer, urban, and southern - maybe it's just him growing up in the Hill District through middle school) but I kind of like the accent and I would always be able to recognize him on the phone without caller ID.
Let's hope all goes well! I am tired of writing about talking to all of these different guys and going on first dates, and then repeating the process. I'm really in the mood to expand my writing past this vicious circle of meeting people and move on to the next steps. So come 9pm tomorrow, keep your fingers crossed for me that everything goes well!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
A Good Date (or Two) Might Be on the Way Soon
"Law student guy" finally reemerged. He IM'd me on Thursday evening and we were talking for awhile on Thursday and Friday. Unfortunately, we didn't get to meet this afternoon, but it was due to car issues. His car fought nature (a/k/a a deer) and lost. So while he's waiting for a buddy of his to fix it for cheap, he's stranded in State College. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for next Saturday so I can finally meet him.
After signing on to Plentyoffish.com, I have received a lot of emails. I'm rather surprised at the amount of traffic on that site! And the bonus of it being free can't be matched by Match. On Wednesday, I received an email from this guy who said that he liked my profile and thought that I was very attractive in my pictures. We started writing back and forth and I found out that he's 32 and currently a second year med student at Pitt. He also works part time as a Orthopedic Implant Specialist at one of the local hospitals. "Med student guy" and I have been writing a lot. 3 messages Wednesday, 2 Thursday, and 8 on Friday. Also on Friday he installed GTalk, so he and I got to chat.
He's been to many places and volunteers with the Red Cross. He told me stories about a few of his experiences in Israel during last Christmastime. One of them was very sad, but the others were rather nice. And he converses much more than "Law student guy", which is really nice. I feel like I know a little more about "Med student guy" in the past few days than I do about "Law student guy" who I have been talking to for a few weeks.
My current plan now is to meet both of them and see what happens. I'm essentially mitigating my risk in case one of them doesn't think I'm cute when we meet in person. However, if you read this blog regularly, you know that I obviously have very bad luck. So it may play out as follows:
1. Neither thinks I'm cute in person and I'm back to square one.
2. They both like me and I think they're both cute and we get along great, then I will eventually have to choose. And I'll have to be very careful when making plans not to double book as I'm getting to know them.
I'm hoping that it will work out well with one of them and I'll finally have the ever-elusive second date. We will have to see.
After signing on to Plentyoffish.com, I have received a lot of emails. I'm rather surprised at the amount of traffic on that site! And the bonus of it being free can't be matched by Match. On Wednesday, I received an email from this guy who said that he liked my profile and thought that I was very attractive in my pictures. We started writing back and forth and I found out that he's 32 and currently a second year med student at Pitt. He also works part time as a Orthopedic Implant Specialist at one of the local hospitals. "Med student guy" and I have been writing a lot. 3 messages Wednesday, 2 Thursday, and 8 on Friday. Also on Friday he installed GTalk, so he and I got to chat.
He's been to many places and volunteers with the Red Cross. He told me stories about a few of his experiences in Israel during last Christmastime. One of them was very sad, but the others were rather nice. And he converses much more than "Law student guy", which is really nice. I feel like I know a little more about "Med student guy" in the past few days than I do about "Law student guy" who I have been talking to for a few weeks.
My current plan now is to meet both of them and see what happens. I'm essentially mitigating my risk in case one of them doesn't think I'm cute when we meet in person. However, if you read this blog regularly, you know that I obviously have very bad luck. So it may play out as follows:
1. Neither thinks I'm cute in person and I'm back to square one.
2. They both like me and I think they're both cute and we get along great, then I will eventually have to choose. And I'll have to be very careful when making plans not to double book as I'm getting to know them.
I'm hoping that it will work out well with one of them and I'll finally have the ever-elusive second date. We will have to see.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
It's Already Been a Long Week
Because I'm waiting to see what happens with "Law school guy" and the plans that we're supposed to have Saturday afternoon, the week has decided to drag along. I still haven't received more than 10 words from "Law school guy". Yesterday I said 'hi' in the morning, but I received a "hey - gotta go to class".
Now, I understand the amount of work that law school requires as I didn't see one of my best friends for almost 3 years, even though she lived in Pittsburgh. However, he has time to be on Match.com. I know - I've been on there to close out non-cute or too-short guys who wink at me. For all I know, maybe he's doing the same thing, but I just have a bad feeling about this. And I'm usually spot on with my gut instincts and men.
Yesterday I was getting to the end of my patience with the silence and I decided that I was taking it out of my hands. It's "Law student guy's" responsibility now. I sent him an IM that said, "hey - give me a call when you're not in class or doing schoolwork so we can talk for a bit." I was expecting nothing in return, especially since I switched my Gtalk status to busy. However, I get a message back that said "ok no worries." Now, despite my overthinking, this could be a glimmer of hope that I'm just going insane due to too many months of online dating. Maybe the translation of this is "Don't worry - I'll call you. I really am just busy with school." That or it's just a trained response and he has no intention of talking to me again.
In my frustration yesterday, I signed up for PlentyOfFish.com. I heard from a couple other friends who tried Match.com with little success that I should try this site, too. However, another friend of mine who has done some online dating site research mentioned to me that this was a site for people looking to hookup. So it's a lot like Match.com, but it's free! However, I did select all of the options to eliminate the sexual predators so let's hope it works. I wish there was a way to filter out messages from people outside of my age range and also the ones with kids.
Especially people with kids. I have been on this site for less than 24 hours and have received 10 messages so far and roughly the same number of IM requests. But most of these are people with kids. There are more people that are divorced with kids on this site than on Match. I guess they're saving for their kids' college tuition by trying the free online dating site. However, the upside is that there are more tall guys compared to Match. We'll have to see how this compares.
In the meantime, can it be Saturday so I can find out what the deal is with "Law student guy"??
Now, I understand the amount of work that law school requires as I didn't see one of my best friends for almost 3 years, even though she lived in Pittsburgh. However, he has time to be on Match.com. I know - I've been on there to close out non-cute or too-short guys who wink at me. For all I know, maybe he's doing the same thing, but I just have a bad feeling about this. And I'm usually spot on with my gut instincts and men.
Yesterday I was getting to the end of my patience with the silence and I decided that I was taking it out of my hands. It's "Law student guy's" responsibility now. I sent him an IM that said, "hey - give me a call when you're not in class or doing schoolwork so we can talk for a bit." I was expecting nothing in return, especially since I switched my Gtalk status to busy. However, I get a message back that said "ok no worries." Now, despite my overthinking, this could be a glimmer of hope that I'm just going insane due to too many months of online dating. Maybe the translation of this is "Don't worry - I'll call you. I really am just busy with school." That or it's just a trained response and he has no intention of talking to me again.
In my frustration yesterday, I signed up for PlentyOfFish.com. I heard from a couple other friends who tried Match.com with little success that I should try this site, too. However, another friend of mine who has done some online dating site research mentioned to me that this was a site for people looking to hookup. So it's a lot like Match.com, but it's free! However, I did select all of the options to eliminate the sexual predators so let's hope it works. I wish there was a way to filter out messages from people outside of my age range and also the ones with kids.
Especially people with kids. I have been on this site for less than 24 hours and have received 10 messages so far and roughly the same number of IM requests. But most of these are people with kids. There are more people that are divorced with kids on this site than on Match. I guess they're saving for their kids' college tuition by trying the free online dating site. However, the upside is that there are more tall guys compared to Match. We'll have to see how this compares.
In the meantime, can it be Saturday so I can find out what the deal is with "Law student guy"??
Monday, January 12, 2009
Difficulties of Getting to Know Someone Through Gtalk
So I spent all day Saturday, well from 11am until 8pm, talking to "Law Student guy". It felt like I was doing most of the talking, but I obviously enjoyed talking to him while he was getting snowed in at school. I was at home getting iced in, which kept me from my possible last minute plan of going to meet him.
Sunday I woke up and was looking forward to talking to him all day again. We were talking for awhile through most of the Eagles/Giants game. However, we did get into a discussion because he doesn't think that football is a hard sport. I think he actually said as much in the 2 hours of this discussion than he did all the previous week. His argument was that although football is entertaining, it's not hard. Especially compared to cycling and rugby.
Now, I think all three sports are tough...any sport is tough. But it seemed like he was trying to convince me that NFL players are overpaid pussies. I don't agree with that and there wasn't anything he could say to convince me otherwise. After a couple hours, I said that we needed to agree to disagree about the level of athleticism required in football. As someone who is preparing to argue for a living, he seemed to want to continue. I'm really not big on arguing over Gtalk with someone I haven't even met yet. On top of that, football is my favorite sport and I'm not ever going to admit that it's not tough if I don't agree with it.
However, following that discussion, I haven't really heard from him. School did start back up on Friday, but he didn't seem to have a problem talking all day Saturday and the first half of Sunday. He keeps saying that he'll be right back, then disappears for hours. He's said he's been reading, but I know he was also on Match.com because I went to his profile to check out some of the info he had (in regard to cycling) and he was on Match. Or I'd at least expect him to say "hey - I have a bunch of reading for class. I'll say hi when I'm done if you're still online."
I figure that I'll see how things go this week and if we meet on Saturday like we had talked about last Saturday. I'm not going to be surprised if he doesn't IM me again or meet up with me Saturday because I feel like he's blowing me off. It could be that I was just spoiled last week since he was still on break for most of the week, which I'm hoping. I just think it's odd that it went from someone who immediately sent me an IM the second he got online if I was online or vice versa. Now he gets online and doesn't message me. When I went to message him, we spoke for about a minute and then he'd do the "be right back" thing. It's just better for me to be prepared since I'm getting the feeling of being blown off. My instincts have been spot on so far as I've been doing this online dating, so I'm going to have to go with my instincts and hope to be pleasantly surprised.
Sunday I woke up and was looking forward to talking to him all day again. We were talking for awhile through most of the Eagles/Giants game. However, we did get into a discussion because he doesn't think that football is a hard sport. I think he actually said as much in the 2 hours of this discussion than he did all the previous week. His argument was that although football is entertaining, it's not hard. Especially compared to cycling and rugby.
Now, I think all three sports are tough...any sport is tough. But it seemed like he was trying to convince me that NFL players are overpaid pussies. I don't agree with that and there wasn't anything he could say to convince me otherwise. After a couple hours, I said that we needed to agree to disagree about the level of athleticism required in football. As someone who is preparing to argue for a living, he seemed to want to continue. I'm really not big on arguing over Gtalk with someone I haven't even met yet. On top of that, football is my favorite sport and I'm not ever going to admit that it's not tough if I don't agree with it.
However, following that discussion, I haven't really heard from him. School did start back up on Friday, but he didn't seem to have a problem talking all day Saturday and the first half of Sunday. He keeps saying that he'll be right back, then disappears for hours. He's said he's been reading, but I know he was also on Match.com because I went to his profile to check out some of the info he had (in regard to cycling) and he was on Match. Or I'd at least expect him to say "hey - I have a bunch of reading for class. I'll say hi when I'm done if you're still online."
I figure that I'll see how things go this week and if we meet on Saturday like we had talked about last Saturday. I'm not going to be surprised if he doesn't IM me again or meet up with me Saturday because I feel like he's blowing me off. It could be that I was just spoiled last week since he was still on break for most of the week, which I'm hoping. I just think it's odd that it went from someone who immediately sent me an IM the second he got online if I was online or vice versa. Now he gets online and doesn't message me. When I went to message him, we spoke for about a minute and then he'd do the "be right back" thing. It's just better for me to be prepared since I'm getting the feeling of being blown off. My instincts have been spot on so far as I've been doing this online dating, so I'm going to have to go with my instincts and hope to be pleasantly surprised.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
New Year, New People, New Situations
It's been an entertaining week! At first I freaked out a bit when "SEO guy" found my blog. Fortunately he did write that he thought it was good read. He also provided some advice and I may have to enlist his help to get this blog moved from Blogger.com to the URL I purchased a few months back - 30-and-single.com. It also works out because he's seeing someone and we decided to be friends. Therefore he will have technical information that I don't know and I don't have to hide the blog from him since he's in it. It's not fair if you write about someone and they know what you think and feel about the situation. Essentially it's like being able to read minds. Since I haven't perfected that skill yet, no one should get to have that power. So I changed the Facebook Notes settings to allow friends of friends to read the blog, but not everyone on Facebook like I previously had set.
However, there was a giant flaw in this plan. "Law student guy" (a/k/a Ricky Bobby for JR) friend requested me on Facebook last night. I immediately went into the settings having decided that if need be, I would stop importing the blog to Facebook. Fortunately, I discovered that you can make exceptions as to specific friends. So he won't be reading what I have to write about him.
With that said, "Law student guy" wrote me a couple more times on Monday, trying to catch me online. Eventually we traded our Gmail addresses so we could chat over GTalk. We've been chatting back and forth a lot. Monday and Wednesday we had great conversations but Tuesday he was pretty busy so there wasn't much chatting. The downside, he's going to law school at Penn State. Aside from the fact that I am not a fan of Penn State, it's also not in Pittsburgh. He says he comes home every weekend, break, and summer, it's still a whole lot of time of him not being in Pittsburgh. "Law student guy" plans to become a DA after law school in order to be involved in the community.
Apparently it's not the first time he's done community work. "Law student guy" said that he spent a year working with inner city kids in Philadelphia after getting his Master's degree from Temple. So he's also good at dodging bullets, which can prepare him for DA jobs in the following cities: Philadelphia, Detroit, Baltimore, Gary, and Compton. He's also had an in-depth discussion about economics with some drug dealers in Philly. The drug dealers apparently follow and have a good understanding of economic theory in their line of business. That's rather fascinating and I am going to have to hear more details of this story.
Tonight I'm looking forward to talking to him on the phone. I'm interested to see how the phone interaction works. I'm terrible on the phone, but I'll manage. The downside is that he's currently on his way back up to State College (a/k/a Evil Land) to get his books and start reading before classes start again on Monday. Maybe I'll get to meet him next week since tonight and tomorrow are out and I mentioned Saturday, but I'm not sure if he's available. I'm not too stressed though because so far, he really seems to like me. It's kind of adorable. However, I am keeping in mind that "Beaver county guy" seemed to really like me when we were text messaging and talking on the phone and we all saw how last Saturday turned out.
While I'm just getting to know "Law student guy", with my luck things will work out with him since he's not in Pittsburgh. Even though this is just speculation, if it does work out, I will be 100% convinced that there's something in the water in this city, which would explain why it's so tough to be single in Pittsburgh. Then I will have to publish this theory and go on a book tour. My life is borderline ridiculous as it is - I wouldn't be surprised if that happened.
However, there was a giant flaw in this plan. "Law student guy" (a/k/a Ricky Bobby for JR) friend requested me on Facebook last night. I immediately went into the settings having decided that if need be, I would stop importing the blog to Facebook. Fortunately, I discovered that you can make exceptions as to specific friends. So he won't be reading what I have to write about him.
With that said, "Law student guy" wrote me a couple more times on Monday, trying to catch me online. Eventually we traded our Gmail addresses so we could chat over GTalk. We've been chatting back and forth a lot. Monday and Wednesday we had great conversations but Tuesday he was pretty busy so there wasn't much chatting. The downside, he's going to law school at Penn State. Aside from the fact that I am not a fan of Penn State, it's also not in Pittsburgh. He says he comes home every weekend, break, and summer, it's still a whole lot of time of him not being in Pittsburgh. "Law student guy" plans to become a DA after law school in order to be involved in the community.
Apparently it's not the first time he's done community work. "Law student guy" said that he spent a year working with inner city kids in Philadelphia after getting his Master's degree from Temple. So he's also good at dodging bullets, which can prepare him for DA jobs in the following cities: Philadelphia, Detroit, Baltimore, Gary, and Compton. He's also had an in-depth discussion about economics with some drug dealers in Philly. The drug dealers apparently follow and have a good understanding of economic theory in their line of business. That's rather fascinating and I am going to have to hear more details of this story.
Tonight I'm looking forward to talking to him on the phone. I'm interested to see how the phone interaction works. I'm terrible on the phone, but I'll manage. The downside is that he's currently on his way back up to State College (a/k/a Evil Land) to get his books and start reading before classes start again on Monday. Maybe I'll get to meet him next week since tonight and tomorrow are out and I mentioned Saturday, but I'm not sure if he's available. I'm not too stressed though because so far, he really seems to like me. It's kind of adorable. However, I am keeping in mind that "Beaver county guy" seemed to really like me when we were text messaging and talking on the phone and we all saw how last Saturday turned out.
While I'm just getting to know "Law student guy", with my luck things will work out with him since he's not in Pittsburgh. Even though this is just speculation, if it does work out, I will be 100% convinced that there's something in the water in this city, which would explain why it's so tough to be single in Pittsburgh. Then I will have to publish this theory and go on a book tour. My life is borderline ridiculous as it is - I wouldn't be surprised if that happened.
Monday, January 5, 2009
I'm In The Game For a Minute...Then I Get Benched. Again.
I met up with "Beaver county guy" Saturday night, looking incredibly cute. We had a few drinks and watched the end of the Arizona/Atlanta game and then watched the Indy/San Diego game. (The games I'm referring to were the NFL Wildcard games from last Saturday.)
I thought it started ok initially. He was cute - looked a little bit like Kevin James, just not so chubby, and conversation came easily. However, it started feeling weird towards end, such as when he all of a sudden became tired and was ready to go home immediately after the football game. He actually seemed a little put off because it went into overtime. So I met up with my friends afterward and texted him during the Miami/Baltimore game the next day (again, NFL Wildcard for you non-football people out there.) There were a couple text messages exchanged before he finally owned up to the fact that he didn't think there was any chemistry between us and he asked me not to be mad.
Honestly, I wasn't mad at all. I still wanted to meet the "British guy" and I'm trying to get beyond irrational emotions from someone that I barely know. That's for my own emotional protection. At least he didn't do what "Nuclear engineer guy" did to me. I told "Beaver county guy" that I appreciated the honesty, thanked him for letting me know, and wished him good luck.
The only thing that I'm mad about is the fact that if I wouldn't have texted him a couple times about the Miami/Baltimore game, he may never have said anything to me. It's really the one thing that I request is honesty. Men need to stop being afraid to just say that they're not interested. I don't know what kind of crazy chicks they have dated in the past that scarred them so much that they think that it's appropriate to just not call. Men need to get over it. Women need men to be honest when they're not interested and when they are because it would work out better in the end for all of us.
Here's an example as to why honestly in a necessity - a guy doesn't call you for one of two reasons:
1. He's not interested.
2. He's interested but afraid of rejection.
So either way, no phone call. Then we have to call and I have actually had men who weren't interested make plans with me and just not show up. At least one time the guy did cancel the plans, but it's really crappy to be stood up waiting in a public place. As a result of that, I didn't call the next guy and later found out that the guy was waiting for me to call because he was afraid that I wasn't interested. Make up your minds! If we can't have an addendum added to the man manual stipulating whether "no call" means "interested" or "not interested", can you just call or text us to let us know? It would really be appreciated. You can even make it simple and just say "interested" or "not interested" and I can get the conversation moving from there.
By the way, texting provides a great way to say you're not interested without having to take the chance that we'll be angry and yell at you. Especially since we can take a minute and think without being put on the spot.
Moving forward, I am hoping to hear from "British guy". He mentioned the possibility of getting together after the first of the year, but he didn't write back after last week. I expected an email over the weekend, but maybe he saw the additional pictures that I uploaded and decided that he didn't think I was pretty. If that was the case, again, it would have been nice to get an email that says either "interested" or "not interested". Until I am convinced that men have learned how to be honest with me, which will probably be about the time Satan gets into a snowball fight, I have decided to hedge my bets.
There was a cute law student who winked at me about a week ago. So I winked back. I already got an email from him so I wrote him back at the beginning of my lunch break today and I will, for the time being, call him "Law school guy". It's appropriate. Also, I winked at an additional 44 men yesterday evening. I have gotten a couple guys who said that they weren't interested as I did receive the automated email. I am very proud of those men for letting me know because I can quickly remove them from the compiled list of prospects on Match.com. I did also hear back from "SEO guy". This guy was actually impressed that I do SEO/SEM for a living. He's a computer programmer and does some SEO on the side. He actually wrote me through Facebook since his membership expired. We've already emailed back and forth a couple times last night until it was time for me to go to bed. So I also responded to him earlier in my lunch break.
Let's hope that I can get more in the way of honesty moving forward since it's a new year.
I thought it started ok initially. He was cute - looked a little bit like Kevin James, just not so chubby, and conversation came easily. However, it started feeling weird towards end, such as when he all of a sudden became tired and was ready to go home immediately after the football game. He actually seemed a little put off because it went into overtime. So I met up with my friends afterward and texted him during the Miami/Baltimore game the next day (again, NFL Wildcard for you non-football people out there.) There were a couple text messages exchanged before he finally owned up to the fact that he didn't think there was any chemistry between us and he asked me not to be mad.
Honestly, I wasn't mad at all. I still wanted to meet the "British guy" and I'm trying to get beyond irrational emotions from someone that I barely know. That's for my own emotional protection. At least he didn't do what "Nuclear engineer guy" did to me. I told "Beaver county guy" that I appreciated the honesty, thanked him for letting me know, and wished him good luck.
The only thing that I'm mad about is the fact that if I wouldn't have texted him a couple times about the Miami/Baltimore game, he may never have said anything to me. It's really the one thing that I request is honesty. Men need to stop being afraid to just say that they're not interested. I don't know what kind of crazy chicks they have dated in the past that scarred them so much that they think that it's appropriate to just not call. Men need to get over it. Women need men to be honest when they're not interested and when they are because it would work out better in the end for all of us.
Here's an example as to why honestly in a necessity - a guy doesn't call you for one of two reasons:
1. He's not interested.
2. He's interested but afraid of rejection.
So either way, no phone call. Then we have to call and I have actually had men who weren't interested make plans with me and just not show up. At least one time the guy did cancel the plans, but it's really crappy to be stood up waiting in a public place. As a result of that, I didn't call the next guy and later found out that the guy was waiting for me to call because he was afraid that I wasn't interested. Make up your minds! If we can't have an addendum added to the man manual stipulating whether "no call" means "interested" or "not interested", can you just call or text us to let us know? It would really be appreciated. You can even make it simple and just say "interested" or "not interested" and I can get the conversation moving from there.
By the way, texting provides a great way to say you're not interested without having to take the chance that we'll be angry and yell at you. Especially since we can take a minute and think without being put on the spot.
Moving forward, I am hoping to hear from "British guy". He mentioned the possibility of getting together after the first of the year, but he didn't write back after last week. I expected an email over the weekend, but maybe he saw the additional pictures that I uploaded and decided that he didn't think I was pretty. If that was the case, again, it would have been nice to get an email that says either "interested" or "not interested". Until I am convinced that men have learned how to be honest with me, which will probably be about the time Satan gets into a snowball fight, I have decided to hedge my bets.
There was a cute law student who winked at me about a week ago. So I winked back. I already got an email from him so I wrote him back at the beginning of my lunch break today and I will, for the time being, call him "Law school guy". It's appropriate. Also, I winked at an additional 44 men yesterday evening. I have gotten a couple guys who said that they weren't interested as I did receive the automated email. I am very proud of those men for letting me know because I can quickly remove them from the compiled list of prospects on Match.com. I did also hear back from "SEO guy". This guy was actually impressed that I do SEO/SEM for a living. He's a computer programmer and does some SEO on the side. He actually wrote me through Facebook since his membership expired. We've already emailed back and forth a couple times last night until it was time for me to go to bed. So I also responded to him earlier in my lunch break.
Let's hope that I can get more in the way of honesty moving forward since it's a new year.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Getting Back Into the Game
So I haven't heard anything from "British guy" but I did keep receiving emails from "Beaver county guy". The emails were always nice and entertaining, so I continued emailing during the week. "Beaver county guy" gave me his number and on New Years Day, I decided to send him a text wishing him a Happy New Year. That then led to a text message conversation that led throughout the day as I hung out with my friends and watched all of the bowl games.
He had been mentioning in his emails early in the week and then again during out text conversation about meeting soon. So I gave in Thursday evening and agreed to meet. He had to work Friday as well as Saturday since he had 8 days off for Christmas, so we're going to meet tonight. I picked a place on the Southside because I don't particularly care for leaving the city on the weekends.
Now I'm in the process of getting ready. I'm almost done with my nails, I'll probably eat around 4:30 so that I can take a shower afterward, my outfit is already picked out, chose my shoes (my new Pumas - obviously), and I'll do my makeup, check the bus schedule, and take off. The other bonus is that if I'm close by home and it turns out that there isn't any chemistry, I can take off early and use the "I have to catch this bus" as an excuse. I doubt I'll have to do that - I have a good feeling about tonight. Let's hope that I'm right!
He had been mentioning in his emails early in the week and then again during out text conversation about meeting soon. So I gave in Thursday evening and agreed to meet. He had to work Friday as well as Saturday since he had 8 days off for Christmas, so we're going to meet tonight. I picked a place on the Southside because I don't particularly care for leaving the city on the weekends.
Now I'm in the process of getting ready. I'm almost done with my nails, I'll probably eat around 4:30 so that I can take a shower afterward, my outfit is already picked out, chose my shoes (my new Pumas - obviously), and I'll do my makeup, check the bus schedule, and take off. The other bonus is that if I'm close by home and it turns out that there isn't any chemistry, I can take off early and use the "I have to catch this bus" as an excuse. I doubt I'll have to do that - I have a good feeling about tonight. Let's hope that I'm right!
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